Troubled
by soul-wanderer94
Summary: Their night was a mistake. She knew it the moment she sat on the edge of her bathtub staring at the positive pregnancy test. And so far she haven't even thought of the risks of a pregnancy in her position. Will she be able to find her way through these difficult times?
1. Shocked

**This is going to be my first longer story on here (hopefully), and also the first story I publish even though it's in progress. Normally I wouldn't do that, because in the past I haven't finished all of my stories. Sorry for the short introduction chapter, I just want to know if anyone is interested in reading it! Please note that this is only the plot & there is much more story coming up!  
Please review your first impression in order to help me keep going :)  
PS: I try to keep this story authentic & not too much OOC, even though this chapter might be a little, but I hope not too much. And now enjoy reading!**

* * *

This night had to stay a non-recurring event. They both agreed on this.  
But as Ziva was sitting on the edge of her bathtub, paralyzed, she knew that it was a fatal decision to agree on this. Who was she's trying to kid here?  
She couldn't regret what happened. Even though in this moment she was helpless.  
How could this possibly happen? Maybe this was a mistake. It had to be.  
_Pregnant._ No. This is impossible she thought.  
"This isn't the right time to get emotional Ziva", she scolded herself as she got up to get ready for work.  
_This really isn't the right time._

* * *

She arrived at work just in time to not raise any suspicions. As usual Tony wasn't sitting at his desk yet so she had enough time to compose herself.  
"Good morning Ziv", McGee greeted her. A mumbled "Morning Tim" was her reply, just as Tony entered the squad room with his usual big smile on his face.  
"Morning Probie! Miss David!"  
"Hey Tony, had a great night, huh?", McGee asked. "You can tell that? But as you may know Timmy, a gentleman never tells!" , he replied, just as he heard Ziva coughing at his comment.  
"_This is too much for me_", Ziva thought and left the office heading to the restroom.


	2. Hacked

**Here we go with chapter 2. Thank you for the reviews so far. Like I said, the first chapter was just a little introduction, I'm slowly trying to write longer chapters now, pinky promise! It's just a huge challenge for me, so I hope you are kind :) To take away your fears: This isn't a usual "Omg, Ziva is pregnant & doesn't know what to do" story, don't worry, I just love tough Ziva way too much for that ;) **  
**Little reminder: English still isn't my mother language, but feel free to tell me about mistakes (especially when I'm messing up idioms again, I don't only do so in English)!**  
**And now: Enjoy reading & feel free to review again :) **

* * *

When she arrived at the restroom she didn't really knew what she wanted to do in there, so she went over to the sink and began washing her hands frantically.  
A few seconds later the door swung open and Tony came in, as usually not caring that he stood in the middle of the ladies room.  
"Hey Ziv…you ok?", he asked cautiously.  
"What do you think, Tony?"Anger was growing inside of Ziva and she straightened up in front of him.  
"Ziva, what the heck is going on? Why are you so mad at me?"  
"Don't you realize this? Every other morning you come to work, bragging about your latest women stories. I mean don't you have the slightest respect left in your body? These are actually humans you are talking about. And now you're asking me what is wrong with ME?"  
Tony stood there, slightly shocked by Ziva's outburst.  
He didn't even know what to reply to this, but one question was running through his mind over and over again: "_Why is she reacting like this? She never seemed to care too much about this part of my life._"  
Ziva, even more upset about his silence left the room angrily, grazing his shoulder as she excited, leaving him all alone.

A deep breath later Tony went back to the squad room as well, lurching back to his desk and falling down on his chair.  
Ziva was slightly glaring at him, but he tried not to care too much as he still haven't figured out what was wrong with her.  
"_Women_", he said, more to himself thinking that this was quite a good answer.

Around lunch time Tony decided on getting the food for everyone today, which would also allow him to have a small break from Ziva's weird mood.  
Just as he had left, McGee piped up from his desk.  
"Uhhm, Boss? I think someone just tried to hack our system."  
"What? Can you find out who it was?", Gibbs answered as he came over to him.  
"Working on it, but whoever it was, he must be a professional."  
"I'm counting on you Timothy", and with these words he left for his own desk again.  
"Who would be crazy enough trying to hack the NCIS system?", Ziva asked confused, looking over to McGee who was busily working on an answer for Gibbs.  
"I don't know Ziv, I don't know. But he somehow managed to not leave any traces. Gibbs won't like that."  
"Gibbs won't like what?", Tony jumped into their conversation. McGee informed him about the latest hack attack while Tony handed them their lunches.  
"Well, seems like we have a new case ahead. Haul out your super powers McGeek!"


	3. Visits

**Here comes the new chapter! There wasn't an update yesterday, and I wanted to let you know that there might not be an update every day. But I try my best to update on a regular base! The next chapters could be difficult though, because they will be tricky ones and I will have to research a lot!**  
**A few things:**  
**1.) I'm somehow super proud about this chapter, even though it caused me a lot of struggling, since I had to re-arrange the story a little, because of my own stupidity. I made a mistake in thinking. Ah, yeah, sounds like me.**  
**2.) Again I forgot to tell you where this takes place, especially because I had to figure it out as well. I finally know that this definitely takes place after Eli's death! For a reason of course ;)**  
**3.) I keep hearing Ziva's voice inside my head when I write her dialogues - you should do that as well^^**  
**4.) I'm just as Ziva, messing up sayings - I'm sorry for that!**  
**And again enjoy reading & make me happy with some reviews!**

* * *

Several hours later, Gibbs informed Vance about the hack attack, McGee was still looking for the person behind it.  
"This makes me want to tear my hair out!" they heard Tim saying. "Nobody can hack a system without leaving any traces!"  
Ziva, who sat at her desk in silence since lunch time turned her head to his desk. "Don't worry McGee; it's not your fault that you can't find anything. Time will tell us more!"  
"Thank you Ziva", Tim replied sighing over his failed researches.

* * *

It was around 9pm when Ziva found herself on the edge of the stairs to Gibbs basement.  
He somehow knew she was coming, his senses never failed him. The way she was standing there, insecure, so untypical her, reminded him of one of the first times she came over to see him.  
Their bond has grown a lot since then and he wondered how it would feel like if Kelly stood there like her. Asking for his help.  
When Ziva arrived downstairs he quickly wiped away his thoughts and gently smiled at her.  
"To what do I owe the honor of your visit my dear?"  
She leaned against the stair-rail, following every step he would make, observing the situation.  
"I came over to talk to you about something." Gibbs let out a small laugh at her reply.  
"I already thought about that Ziv."  
A few minutes after pacing around the basement restlessly she started talking again: "Gibbs, I know your rules are important to you. For a reason. And I also know you won't like what I'm about to say, but trust me, I will figure…"  
"Hey, hey! Get to the point Ziva. Has it something to do with DiNozzo?"  
"Uhm, yes, actually it has. How do you know? However, this is not what you might think. Tony and I, it was…non-recurring thing. Really!" the words came out of her , leaving her breathless.  
"And why are you telling me this? I mean I somehow saw this coming from the first minute. But as you said, it's a non-recurring event, and I trust you. Or is there something else left to say?"  
"Yes Gibbs", she stopped right in front of him. "I'm pregnant."

* * *

Silence was hovering over them the next few seconds. He was examining her face to see how she was feeling.  
He could see a familiar reaction. Her back straightened, a straight look, trying to regain control.  
The appearance of a professional Mossad. It would always be like that, even though the Mossad was part of her past now. But there was a brief moment of sorrow as well. If you didn't know her you wouldn't even notice it.  
"But I will manage it somehow Gibbs", she said, breaking the silence between them.  
He didn't answer her. He just took her into her arms, her head resting on his shoulder.  
And for a moment he could see behind the curtain. She wasn't crying, because her father always taught her about keeping up pride. She just seemed to be so tired, like a huge weight was lifted onto her shoulders.  
"I never doubted you would Ziva. But you have to tell Tony anyway, and you know that, right?"  
Ziva looked up when Gibbs spoke out what she was afraid to say.  
"But how?" her reply was a small whisper.  
"I guess", Gibbs looked down at her, still holding her lightly, "you have to figure that out on your own."


	4. Knocked out

**Finally an update! I knew it took a little longer this time, but I didn't feel well the past days, and I promised you a longer chapter & I definitely tried to keep this promise!  
I think it never took me that long to write a chapter, but I hope it was worth it, especially because I'm beyond exhausted now.  
In this chapter you get to meet Calev and in case you wonder, it's actually a character I invented I'm already excited to form is character!  
At this point a huge thank you to my best friend and my mum (hah, I always wanted to say that), for helping me with their opinions. I had a great time talking about different options and I always hope it helps to keep this story as "real" as possible.  
Also sorry if there are any mistakes, I just lost the overview at some point.  
Reviews would make me really happy again, especially because this chapter was hard work - and now enjoy reading!**

* * *

She left his house with a queasy feeling, but at the same time Gibbs managed to calm her a little.  
10 pm had already passed by and she knew that it was time to get home, because the next day would be just as long as this day.  
Tomorrow she would tell Tony about her pregnancy. He had the right to know it plus she couldn't hide it forever.  
The drive home seemed to be endless, as she finally managed to suppress her Mossad temper for once and don't drive like crazy through the streets of DC.  
The headlights flashed up for the last time this night when she closed her car and went upstairs, heading straight towards her apartment.  
Arriving at her door, she pulled out her keys and just as she were about to open it, a person appeared next to her. A person she couldn't see before, because the hallway was shrouded in shadows.  
Her body immediately tensed up in defense, her hands reaching for her gun before she realized who was standing there.

"Calev. You…surprised me! This could've ended worse for you. You know that, right? What are you doing here?" she sensed something was wrong, but tried to stay reserved.  
"Well my dear Ziva, I came here to talk to you. Between old co-workers. As a friend. Why don't you ask me to come in? Isn't this how your father raised you? To be hospitable? Where are your manners Ziva?" he smiled at her, she could tell it was a faked one, but she nevertheless gestured him to come in.  
"Now give me the real reason why you're here! I know you well enough to know that you wouldn't come all the way from Israel to see an old friend.  
And before you ask me again: You already know my answer. And nothing is going change that!" her voice grew louder as she spit out the words.  
She walked over to the window, looking at the darkened street as she waited for his reply and tried to compose herself again..  
He slowly walked through her apartment, inspecting the items in it, before he began speaking again: "Look, I didn't want it to turn out like this, but you don't leave me another choice my dear Ziva…" Calev said, faking a commiserate sigh.  
She didn't even have the time to process his words, when something heavy hit her head, causing her to sink to the ground while her environment grew blurrier with every second.  
The last thing she remembered was a second male voice, talking in Hebrew, yelling the word "Yalla!"

* * *

The next morning the whole team was assembled at the bullpen. Only one person was missing. Ziva.  
"Don't you think that this is a little weird? Normally she is the first one to arrive, and one of the last ones to leave. It's already 8:20 and she still hasn't arrived yet. Do you know anything Gibbs?" he prompted at his boss.  
"I would've told you so DiNozzo! And now go back to work."  
Tony was still concerned about her absence: "But boss, don't you think we should check on her? I mean she is never late for work. Like ever. It's almost scary that she always arrives dead on time." He let out a little laughter.  
"Have you tried calling her?" McGee jumped into their conversation. This question caused Tony to angrily look at him.  
"Do I look like I haven't already considered it, McWisenheimer?"  
"I consider that as a clear Yes. And I guess…she didn't answer her phone?!"  
"McGee…!" Tony's voice clearly told Tim to shut up and so did he, to not aggravate him any further.  
A minute later he looked at Gibbs and Tony. "I just tracked Ziva's phone, but it wasn't helpful at all. The tracking system says she's at home."  
"Maybe she overslept" Gibbs replied, not losing a word that it wasn't quite legal to track her phone.  
A sarcastic laughter escaped Tony's mouth "Yeah, of course, Ziva our little late riser. Boss, I'm asking for permission to drive to her place!"  
"Go ahead Tony." Gibbs sighed, knowing that Tony wouldn't find his peace unless he knew that Ziva was safe. "_Things changed so much in this team throughout the past years, I think it's time to adjust to them._" He thought as Tony left for the elevator.  
...

15 minutes later he arrived at her apartment. Her car was still parked into it's usual parking space.  
"Maybe Gibbs was right" Tony wondered as he easily walked upstairs.  
At this time of the day, the hallway was silent. Everyone was working. But the silence didn't end when he knocked at Ziva's door.  
No reply. No steps.  
He paused for a moment, lost in thoughts, not quite being sure what to do now.  
The only conclusion he had, was to get into her apartment to check out what was going on.  
It wasn't a too difficult task for him to do so, and when he stood in the middle of her hall he knew that something was wrong.  
Cautiously he made his way into her bedroom. No sign of her.  
He went over to her living room, but the only thing he could find, was her Menorah, lying on the floor. "_She would never drop her Menorah to the floor and not pick it up again. This would be degrading for her."_ He thought, knowing that he immediately had to call Gibbs.  
He grabbed his phone and quickly dialed his number.  
"Gibbs? I think we have a problem."

* * *

**A/N: Yalla actually means "Let's go", in case you didn't know ;)  
A/N2: About the bullpen scene: I wasn't quite confident about that one, but I hope I don't completely failed.  
A/N3: A Menorah is actually a seven-branched candle holder used on Sabbath and I definitely think Ziva owns one as a tradition-conscious Jew!  
**


	5. Waking up

**I'm sorry I let you wait for such a long time. I feel really, really bad. But Easter is such a crazy time, and I did a lot of research. Really a lot. I just needed to prepare for the upcoming chapters. You will find out why. Plus I struggled a lot lately, and I hope you understand that I needed a short, personal break. This isn't the longest chapter and I hope you aren't bothered too much by the change between different scenes. It will get better. I just need to put the pieces together and sometimes it takes this kind of "mess".  
And now you can go on reading (some explanations will be underneath this chapter!)!  
**

* * *

His shaking and fearful voice told Gibbs that something must have happened to Ziva from the moment he picked up the call. When Tony finished telling him what he just discovered at Ziva's apartment, Gibbs had already gathered his gear and beckoned McGee to come with him.

"What is going on boss?" Tim asked, after witnessing the urgent phone call between him and Tony.  
"Tony has a reasonable suspicion that someone abducted Ziva." was his only reply as he moved quickly towards the elevator.  
Shocked by what Gibbs just had said he stumbled into the elevator trying to put the pieces of this puzzle together.  
He couldn't bring out a simple word, unless both of them sat in the car, driving to Ziva's home, Gibbs trying to follow the traffic rules.  
"Do you really think someone could've abducted her boss?" his voice thoughtful, barely above a whisper.  
"I hope the best and expect the worst. Tony seemed to be really concerned. I trust his senses and I don't know why Ziva would leave without a word. She wouldn't do that after all that has happened in the past." Gibbs said, more in a matter-of-fact voice, but in the back of his mind he really didn't know if Ziva would leave without letting them know.

In the meanwhile Tony was restlessly pacing around Ziva's apartment, left alone with his thoughts, with all the things he imagined could've happened to her. He tried to reconstruct the scene, based on what he has seen, but he had no clue why 'this' whatever it was happened.  
Their last conversation popped up in his head. How angry and upset she was, leaving him behind at the restroom. His stomach literally hurt at his thoughts. Thoughts on how so many things went wrong.  
He couldn't dwell for too long on this moment, as Gibbs and McGee entered the room since Tony hasn't closed the door after entering the apartment.  
"Tony! Can you tell us now what caused your concern?" Gibbs pulled Tony out of his thoughts in a businesslike tone, his look softening slightly seeing the fear in Tony's eyes.  
Tony just pointed at the Menorah still lying on the floor right in front of the team.  
"Boss, trust me, this is really unlike Ziva. She wouldn't not pick it up again." He began talking eventually, still looking for his voice.  
"McGee, bag the candleholder so Abby can test it for trails of blood." Gibbs prompted at Tim, adding a "Quick."

* * *

By the time she regained her consciousness she found herself sitting in the middle of a smaller storage in a basement, her hands tied up with a cable tie behind her back carving into the flesh of her wrists, tiny blood streams running down her hands. The room was submerged in a glaring neon light, causing her to lose track of time, not knowing how long she had already sat there unconscious.  
Just when she was about to inspect her body for further injuries, a wave of sharp pain ran through her left shoulder, causing her to gasp, suspecting someone must've dislocated her shoulder. She knew that, even though thinking about her situation was almost impossible, since she was still disordered by the past events.  
She tried to remember what, or even more who, brought her to that place, when the door on the opposite of her opened, and a man entered the room, bringing back her memories of what happened earlier. And in this moment she knew that she was in hell.  
For the second time in her life. And she didn't knew if she would make it another time.  
"_Tony_" was her last thought before she looked the man straight into the eyes, facing the things that weren't avoidable, wishing he would be here to save her. Again.

* * *

"Abby, what do you have for me?" Gibbs asked as he hurried into her lab.  
Abby turned around in surprise, as usual she hasn't heard him coming in.  
"I guess something you won't like…"She looked at him for a brief moment, turning to her computer screen to show him the results of her tests.  
"Tell me Abs." He symbolized her to speak up about what she just found.  
"First the bad news. I found a small amount of blood on the Menorah." She paused shortly to breathe in before continuing. "It is…Ziva's blood. And now the other news. I found some fingerprints as well. Most of them belong to Ziva, but there were also a few other fingerprints."  
"To whom do they belong?"  
"Well, I looked through out data bank, and…there's nothing. I mean less than nothing. No dead person and no living person as well. Simply nothing. Gibbs, this is bad. This is really, really bad." Abby was clearly upset, not being able to help the team to find out what happened to their friend.  
"Abs!" Gibbs walked towards her, stopping her tirade "Everything's going to be ok. We will find her, ok?" he pulled her into a fatherly hug, softly kissing her forehead. "It's going to be ok." he reassured her one more time, and stepped back to look into her still concerned eyes.  
"And you know, Ziva is kind of a really tough woman. She's going to hold out. Wherever she is right now."  
"I really hope so, Gibbs." Abby replied, trying to reassure herself once again. "Thank you." Was the last thing she could say before he left the lab to continue his researches. It was only said in a small voice, but as he heard it he turned around once more, giving her a smile that made Abby feel a little better. At least for the moment.

* * *

**A/N: Something about Ziva's situation - this the reason I researched so much. I wanted to be prepared. Please remember that there's a reason for my age rating. I just want you to know that I will treat this subject with the greatest respect and I thoroughly researched this theme to keep it realistic. Which might make it even more shocking, but like I said, I will be careful. Especially since what I read really changed me in a way. I hope you understand me.  
There's only one more thing left to say: Let me know what you think & review, I would really like to know your thoughts!  
**


	6. Raging

**Again a new chapter and it is the first flashback of the story.  
I have to make a confession about that chapter:  
I really thought about deleting the whole one again. It just didn't leave me with a good feeling and I hope I'm wrong about that. My best friend really helped me and we discussed a lot, since this is an important chapter. I really hope I'm wrong with my feelings on this one. Please let me know what you think and I hope I don't need to change it!  
PS: I really love to read your reviews, especially those I can work with - trust me, I really try to remember all of them while writing 3 You all seem to be afraid of me being evil, and all I can say is: Just wait for the development of the story, I won't say/promise anything ;)  
And now enjoy reading!  
**

* * *

_4 weeks earlier._

It was almost 10 pm when a gentle knock at the door woke him up. Once again he had fallen asleep on the couch over watching one of his movies to come to rest after another exhausting day at work.  
Working with Ziva was really difficult lately, especially after the latest events.  
They tried to not be too hard on her, as she just lost her father, the last member of her family she was related to by blood.  
But something else was preying on her mind, he just couldn't tell what exactly it was, as she was still this stubborn and sometimes too uncommunicative person he got to know years ago.  
He made his way to the door, rubbing his eyes sleepily, wondering who would be the nightly visitor.  
When he opened it he discovered a seemingly troubled Ziva, looking to the floor in a dejected way.  
It surprised him seeing her, considering she wasn't willing to talk to him the days and weeks before, always withdrawing when he offered to listen.  
"A penny for your thoughts." He softly smiled at her, gesturing her to come inside.  
She looked up at him and a small smile flashed across her face instead of giving him an actual answer.

"You want to drink something? How about a tea? Or something else?" all he wanted at this moment was to make her feel more comfortable as she was still shifting around on his couch.  
"No thanks, Tony." Was the first she actually said since she arrived.  
He settled down beside her, not too close in order to respect her momentarily wish to have some personal space, steadying himself for whatever was coming now.  
"What is going through your mind, Ziva?"  
"A lot Tony." She almost whispered and surprised Tony with that confession.  
He didn't want to force her to tell him anything, but this hide and seek game was gradually unsettling him the longer she sat there, not really talking to her.  
"The last weeks I had a lot to take in. All this…is not easy, you know? I was confronted with my past in Israel, with persons I haven't seen in a long time, which caused to rip open a lot of old wounds."  
He wondered what she was talking about, seeing the confusion reflecting in her dark eyes.  
"I thought you came to terms with your past in Israel." Now scared what all this could mean, thinking about her past as a Mossad Agent and how it endangered her so many times, causing her permanent damage.  
"Yes. I did. But Tony, you forget my father was Director of Mossad. That's nothing you can just put aside. Since his death everything is turned upside down."  
"I can't follow you Ziva."  
"An old friend contacted me shortly after my father's death when I was in Tel Aviv. I haven't seen him in a long time and…" she suddenly stopped mid-sentence not wanting to share more of this story.  
"And what, Ziva?" he raised his voice unwillingly, wanting to know what really happened back then.  
"What exactly happened in Tel Aviv? Is he from Mossad as well?" it dawned on him that this might be about more than just old friends.  
"It doesn't matter Tony. Calev is just…someone from my past." The name slipped out and she immediately regretted giving him this information.  
He tried to take a deep breath, failing to hide his true emotions from her.  
"Ziva! Why don't you tell me about it? This is exhausting. You're hiding something from me. From us. I can't do this any longer."  
Ziva felt the growing anger and was shocked by his current temper, trying to stay calm as well. Emotions were racing through both of them. He didn't mean to go at her like this, so he tried to ease the situation.  
"Ziv…I'm sorry. I just…I care for you. I am worried. Do you understand that? Every time you go back to Israel I'm scared that something could happen to you. Again."  
Surprised by the truth in his words she stopped breathing for a moment, only to continue taking out her feelings on him.  
"Tony! I don't need your protection. I can take care of myself pretty well. I don't need a babysitter!"  
The air was now filled with unsaid feelings and tension was lingering around them.

Tony didn't know what to do anymore, he just stood in front of her helplessly since they were both far too agitated to sit any longer.  
"I didn't mean to sound like that. I just…" he couldn't find any more words to describe how he felt with all the held back emotions raging inside of him now mixed with all the fear and anger.

He just closed the gap between them and kissed her. It was a heated kiss, releasing every emotion with both of them shocked for a brief moment at the twist.  
They were both even more surprised when she didn't pull back.  
After a while both gasped for air and hands found each other, not willing to stop.  
This wasn't the romantic interaction they both imagined. It was a heated release of feelings, getting rid of the tension between each other.  
Ziva fell back into an old habit. It wasn't unusual at Mossad to have such an intercourse with a partner. She tried to deny the feelings she had towards him and so they both went on, not being able to keep the hands off each other.  
Determining Ziva pushed Tony towards the couch, letting go of the last restraints, surprising him once more as they both got lost into the moment, knowing that this would stay between the two of them. They sealed the silent agreement with another kiss and finally got lost into their own world.


	7. Remembering

**I know I haven't updated in a while & I feel really bad for this, but I was sick again (and still am a little), which made it quite impossible to concentrate on writing. I'm glad that most of you like how the story develops, but I always also receive reviews telling me to write longer chapters. Trust me, I really try to, but you all seem to forget that English isn't my mother language and how much effort it is to look up right sayings & vocabularies. I try to make this good, also if it means shorter chapters. I hope you understand that.  
But now enjoy reading the newest chapter & let me know what you think!  
PS: Thank you to my best friend (and my mum) for giving me ideas to make all this as plausible as possible!**

* * *

"Boss, what did Abby find?" was Tony's first question the moment Gibbs entered the squad room.  
At his question McGee jumped up as well, joining them to hear about the latest information from Abby.  
"Well, yes, she could spot two different blood trails. One belonged to Ziva." Gibbs stopped for a second, looking at his two tense agents who now wanted know whom the other the other blood belonged to.  
"And the other blood trail?" McGee asked, now confused about Gibbs displeased look.  
"She doesn't know McGee. There were no entries in our system."  
"But that's impossible." Tony countered. "A person can't simply disappear from our system."  
He really tried to figure out how this was possible. And what this would mean for their investigation.  
"Unless…someone hacked into it." McGee realized, remembering that only days ago they had this suspicion and were clueless who would do that. Now it seemed to make sense.  
Tony and Gibbs remembered the same incident and Gibbs went back into his full working mode.  
"McGee, see what you can find out about our hacker. Tony! Has Ziva told you anything lately? Something that could help us to identify the abductor or find out about his motives?"  
Tony tried to think about their last conversations, even though they were rare and mostly shallow.  
"I can't remember anything important right now, sorry boss."  
"Then think!" Gibbs replied, gesturing him to go to his desk and reconstruct the last conversations with Ziva.

He leaned back in his chair and thought about the last time he really talked to her.  
_"It doesn't matter Tony. Calev is just…someone of my past."_  
"Calev." Tony was all of a sudden shouting through the room in his enlightenment.  
McGee and Gibbs both looked up from their desks questioningly.  
"DiNozzo! Is there anything you would like to share with us?"  
"Actually yes." Tony hesitated for a moment, not wanting to give away too much about the night they had spent together.  
"Ziva talked about an old friend contacting her after her father's death. She seemed to be pretty secretive about him. I presume he was from Mossad, but she wouldn't tell me anything about him."  
After a brief moment he looked at them slightly insecure "If that helps."  
"We need to take everything we can get DiNozzo. Do you remember anything else?" Gibbs asked him, hoping for further information.  
"Unfortunately not. She stopped mid-sentence. She only said that things aren't as easy as they may seem."  
"Uhhm, Boss. I don't know if we can work with that. I mean, we don't even have a surname of this 'old friend'." McGee wasn't sure how they were supposed to find anything given the lack of more information.  
"I thought computers were your thing McGee. I think it's time to do a little research in the system of Mossad. See what we can find."

At this statement both McGee and Tony looked at him in surprise, wondering if he just suggested to hack into the system of Mossad.  
"Are you…uhhm, are you sure about this boss? What about the director? You know that this is illegal?" McGee stuttered, still unbelieving.  
Gibbs raised one of his eyebrows. "Yes, I am sure McGee, and yes, I also know it is not legal. And since when do we care about what the director thinks? This is not one of our normal cases.  
Get started McGee – and ask Abby if you need any help!"  
With these words said, McGee quickly made his way towards Abby's lab, to tell her about the latest developments and ask her for help. He would need it. That's for sure.  
-

"Abby!" he hurried into her lab.  
"What Timmy? Why are you in such a hurry?" she was visibly confused and a little worried as well.  
"Gibbs gave us the permission to hack into the system of Mossad."  
Now Abby was even more confused, feeling like she missed the latest developments. There was definitely a huge gap between her results and the order to hack the system of Mossad.  
"Wait? What? I mean…what happened? Do you know anything? Has anything happened?" her voice flipped over as fast as she was bombarding him with questions now.  
"Calm Abby, breathe in!" McGee put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down and proceeded answering her questions.  
"First of all: Tony remembered that Ziva mentioned a name of an old friend. He is presumably a Mossad Agent. And he might be the person who hacked our system earlier to delete his data. That's why we need to know more. But it's going to be difficult. That's why I need your help, Abby."

He looked into her eyes, seeing how worried she was about Ziva.  
"I'm worried about her as well. That's why we need to find out more about this guy."  
Instead of a reply she hugged him tightly, seeking comfort on his arms, releasing her fears.  
"Oh Timmy, we need to find her." She let go of him and composed herself before she went back into her enthusiastic business mode again.  
"So, what do we know about him? Let's do this. For Ziva!"  
"His name is Calev. She didn't mention a surname. But once we are in their system we should be able to track him down." He replied and with this words they both went to Abby's computer to make a plan of how they could hack into the system of Mossad.  
"Yes. For her," were his last words before they started working on their order.  
They would find her. No matter what it would cost them.


	8. Threatened

**I know it took me a long time to update this story, but I needed a break & had to manage some personal stuff. But now you get the longest chapter so far & I may say that it was one of my favourites to write so far. I really tried to get all the grammar right, but I'm also aware that there still are some mistakes, sorry.  
I warn you: This isn't a nice/fluffy chapter at all. Like I said, the rating was there for a reason.  
I really, really hope you enjoy reading this one & I'm pretty curious what you think about this one - please review! **

* * *

After McGee had left to work with Abby on his latest order the bullpen was now filled with silence as both, Tony and Gibbs went back to their desk work.  
The silence was only broken by Tony who would occasionally shift in his chair and let out deep sighs while doing so.  
Gibbs looked up from his desk, slightly annoyed by Tony's actions but when he looked into his Agent's eyes he saw how honestly concerned and worried he was about his partner and so he decided on cutting him some slack.

"What's on your mind Tony?" Gibbs asked him with a paternal look on his face.  
At this question Tony searched through his mind for the right answer. An answer that wouldn't give too much away. What should he tell him? He carefully balanced the words on his tongue before finally speaking them out.  
"I'm just worried about her. And…I don't know if she'll make it another time", his reply was left unfinished. He didn't actually have to say it to make him understand what he meant.  
Tony's thoughts were thrown back to the time in Somalia. Pictures of a severe injured Ziva flashed across his mind and he couldn't help it.  
They had saved her last-minute and Tony has never been happier before to see her face, even though her eyes reflected the pain she must've been in during her capture.  
"She is strong Tony. Don't forget that. "Gibbs tried to calm down the young Agent who was still shifting uncomfortably in his chair.  
"I guess she is, yes." Was his only reply since he was now stuck in his thoughts again, wondering what kind of hell Ziva had to go through this time.

* * *

A smug smile was on the man's face when he looked at her. He just stood there, leaning against the opposite wall of where she sat watching her and catching her reaction on him.  
It could've been seconds or minutes before he started talking.  
"Oh Ziva, I wish the circumstances of our meeting would've been different ones." He slowly paced around her while continuing his little speech.  
"But sometimes life…has different plans. I always knew that you were a stubborn person, but that it would lead you in such a misery, well, who would have thought that?"  
Ziva was clearly disgusted by his words and avoided looking into his eyes. This was clearly not the man she was playing with in the fields behind her house when she was younger.  
"Your father had great plans for you. You could've had everything, and yet you decide on staying at NCIS with your…friends, when there's waiting a way more powerful position for you in Israel."  
He now stopped walking around to look into her eyes and when she refused to look at him he simply lifted her chin and forced her to hold his gaze.

"What I don't get is…why you would decline such an offer. Many people waited years to sit into your father's chair and now that he decided that you should take over you just walk away. For what Ziva?"  
She immediately knew the answer to this question, but refused to tell him about her real reasons.  
She would've never thought that this was possible, but she found the family she had lost long time ago in her team again. They were so much more than co-workers by now and she didn't want to give up on them.  
"It's not always about power Calev." Was her biting reply, because it was true, even though it wasn't the whole story and she somehow knew that he knew it wasn't everything as well.  
"I never expected to hear something like this from you. You are a born David, don't forget that. This name implicates a duty which we are both aware of."  
He didn't need to say any more, Ziva knew that he was trying to convince her with her loyalty towards her family and towards her country. But it wouldn't work. Not this time.  
"You know nothing about my family Calev" Ziva spit out all of a sudden. Calev was standing with the back towards her and was now spinning around to slap her face violently. The pain rushed through her immediately and her cheek was dark red and pulsing from the severity of the slap.  
"So you want to act rebellious again, huh?" his face was filled with anger, but the nasty smile still wouldn't leave his lips. "Well, I think this won't last too long my dear. You should really change your mind Ziva; it would protect you from further painful experiences." He was clearly threatening her but Ziva wasn't willing to give in. She tried to think of the persons who cared for her. They would find her, they just had to. Once more she found herself relying on the team, something she wouldn't have done when she was still a Mossad Agent. But now she did, it was her only hope left.

And then there was this tiny human being growing inside of her. Something she still couldn't believe. She spent the last days wondering what she should do, how she would manage this, if she wanted to keep this baby. It all seemed so insignificant right now. Yes, she wanted that baby, no matter what that would mean. But a future at Mossad would make this impossible. She had to come out of this. Alive.  
"You can't threaten me like this, you can't break me." Her willpower was back again, because she knew what she was fighting for again.  
"Well, if you think like this I'm truly sorry for you. You should know that I have the permission to do anything it takes in order to change your mind." Calev stopped for a brief moment and stopped right in front of her once more, coming dangerously close to her face this time to almost whisper his last sentence towards her.  
"I know how much your partners mean to you Ziva. And you know that we have our possibilities go get them out of our way. Think about it Ziva. You should really…reconsider your decision."  
With these words he left the room. The light was still shining brightly and Ziva was left alone with her thoughts, when she suddenly felt the air around her cooling down dangerously fast.


	9. Nightmares

**Another weekend another update. I won't be able to update that much during the next 4 weeks since I won't be at home but I hope that I can at least update once or twice as soon as my internet works. I hope you understand this.  
Anyway: Enjoy reading & let me know what you think since it keeps me writing when I receive your reviews!  
To those who review on a regular base, I really love reading your thoughts & I always try my best!**

* * *

It was a sunny day and the summer had finally kicked in when Ziva had decided to go to the park.  
The view of her daughter would always amaze her anew. The little girl was joyfully running around, her hair falling down her shoulders in curly waves. She definitely had her mother's hair and skin tone, but her bright green eyes were unmistakable like Tony's.  
Suddenly the girl started to giggle while carefully walking towards Ziva. "Ima, Ima." She smiled brightly when she called her and Ziva was happy every time she heard those words since she just learned them and since then she won't stop calling for her whenever she explores something new.  
She outstretched her little arm to show her the ladybug that just landed on her forefinger and slightly tickled her while walking around on her hand. "Hey seems like you got a new friend. That's a really beautiful ladybug." Ziva replied in a soft voice, still smiling. "Leey-bug" her daughter tried to repeat her words even though it still caused her some problems, but she was pretty inquiring and loved to learn new things. "Yes, a little ladybug." Ziva repeated once more.  
She was just about to tuck her daughter's hair behind the ear when everything around her started growing dark and a man came up to them and pulled away her daughter. The little girl's face gave away how horrified she was while she repeatedly screamed 'Ima."  
Ziva tried to go after the man but she was stuck, she couldn't get up, couldn't move. She managed to let out a choked scream, before tears were streaming down her face.  
They couldn't take away her daughter, this couldn't happen. She needed to protect her. But she was stuck, unable to move, unable to save her.  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The tears were still streaming down her face when she was pulled out of her nightmare.  
She looked around to find herself still stuck in the same room and it was still freezing cold which caused her body to ache and go numb in several spots.  
It was only a dream, Ziva tried to compose herself as good as possible. But it had been hard on her, she couldn't stand the thought of losing her child and the dream only showed her that quite plainly.  
The cold made it almost impossible to think straight which unsettled her because she didn't know how long she would make it under such circumstances. Calev's threat was still present on her mind and she couldn't think of a solution.  
She didn't want to risk her team's lives, she couldn't do that, but at the same time she had to protect her baby. Ziva was desperate and she knew that this was Calev's goal.  
It seemed to be a hopeless situation.

* * *

The next day at work the squad room was still covered in silence. They all worked through the night and McGee was still in Abby's lab to find something useful.  
Tony was currently napping with his head on the desk and Gibbs didn't say anything because he knew that he really needed it since he had worked really hard throughout the whole night.  
His sleep was interrupted when the phone on Gibbs desk rang. He startled at the sound and looked around slightly confused for a moment and straightened up quickly, being afraid of a headslap from Gibbs because he had fallen asleep at work.

But Gibbs just picked up the phone and answered it after looking at Tony for a brief moment.  
He didn't say much before he left his desk for the elevator while motioning Tony to follow.  
As they both reached the elevator Tony finally spoke up. "Did they find something boss?"  
Gibbs looked at his younger agent and nodded "Apparently yes. But we'll know more when we're in Abby's lab." He tried to not sound too optimistic but he also knew that Tony really hoped that they've found something helpful. Something that would help them finding Ziva.  
Once they entered the lap they were welcomed by a mess of empty Caf Pow and Coffee cups.  
"Gibbs, Tony!" Abby greeted them with one of her typical hugs.  
"It's good that you're both here! I mean I wouldn't know what I would do without you and"  
She was interrupted by Gibbs who knew that if he wouldn't stop her now she would go on like this for minutes.  
"Abbs, what did you two found out?" He asked her in a businesslike tone.  
"Well actually we found two things. There are good and bad news. Which one do you want first?" Gibbs shot her a half-serious glare again before she and McGee started showing them what they found.

"We were able to find the man Tony was talking about. His full name is Calev Atali. He joined Mossad when around the same time as Ziva and is one of the best trained assassins." Tony was swallowed hard at Abby's words. He was a trained assassin and that wasn't a good thing at all. He couldn't think about it for too long before he was interrupted by McGee speaking up.  
"We also found the file about Ziva. We think it might contain the information we need to find her." McGee looked at Gibbs as he had finished his sentence.  
"What do you mean by 'you think'? Where's the problem McGee?"  
"Boss, Abby and I weren't able to open it. It's highly cryptographically secured which makes it almost impossible to hack it."  
Tony was really impatient by now and looked at McGee slightly upset.  
"You said almost McGeek. So there must be a possibility." He was now pacing around Abby's lab trying to figure out what to do.  
"Well there actually is one possibility left. But it's not guaranteed that it will work." Now all eyes were on McGee, waiting for him to explain what he meant.  
"We could try to infiltrate a computer virus into their system to jam it, maybe we would've access then." He looked at them a little insecure, unsure if his idea was good.  
"What are you waiting for McGee? Start doing your magic computer stuff. We're waiting." Gibbs fell over the lab for the next minutes while McGee and Abby were working hard on their order and the only thing you could hear was the both of them exchanging instructions during the process.  
"Yes!" Abby shouted all of a sudden. "I think we got it."  
And now all eyes were on her.


	10. Holding out

**This is kind of a shorter chapter since I've been writing on this throughout the rare free time I had while I was away from home for the past 6 weeks. I hope you understand my situation. But I really wanted to post it anyways to give you at least a little bit to read and I really hope you like it!  
And I need your help - let me know what you think and what you want to read in future chapters, I'm open for any suggestions and nothing is set in stone so far (:**

* * *

She was different after Somalia. The light in her eyes seemed to be gone for a long time and Tony couldn't imagine how it would be this time. She didn't deserve so much pain and yet she had to endure it over and over again.  
After Somalia Tony had found himself in a church, arguing with a God he didn't really believe in.  
But he knew Ziva did and that's when he decided that it could be worth a try.  
He questioned him, asked how he could allow so much cruelty but as much as he wanted to find an answer he never quite found it.  
He was left with his racing thoughts and pain at the thoughts of Ziva's time in Africa.  
And now it was happening again and all he could do was hoping that they would find her soon. Healthy. And still alive.

* * *

The whole team was now impatiently looking over Abby's shoulders to see what she had found, hoping it would be the deciding hint.  
"Let's see what the file is telling us." Abby looked at her screen highly concentrated, searching her way through all the files to find something useful. After a few moments she let out an exasperated sigh. "Damn. I think they knew that we would eventually find the file. They deleted the exact location; all I can find is something about a warehouse somewhere outside the town. This is…this is catastrophic. "  
"Abs! Calm down." Gibbs was speaking up behind her to calm down the clearly upset Goth in front of him.  
"Gibbs!" she replied with a reproachful voice. "We need to find her. I mean…how are we ever going to find her with THIS? There are a dozen of warehouses around D.C." Abby pointed at the screen while explaining the misery to him.  
"We will find her Abby, ok? Trust me." He always seemed to find the right words when it came to difficult situations. And this definitely was one.  
She slightly nodded at him, deciding to trust him once again. There was no other hope left.  
While Abby was still composing herself McGee hadn't stop looking through the files and all of the sudden he spoke up agitated.  
"Guys, I found something else." The eyes that had rested on Abby now turned to look at McGee who stared at them slightly shocked. "What is it McGee?" Tony asked now tensed from the expression in his partners face.  
His answer came out in barely above a whisper.  
"They want her back in Israel." McGee paused for a second before he continued.  
"And they want her to be the new director of Mossad."  
With those words spoken the room fell in silence once again.

* * *

Gibbs had sent them home since he knew that his team needed some time to rest and think about the latest events.  
They all stumbled out of the elevator and scattered into respective directions towards their cars, even though they all refused to leave the office in the first place because they didn't want to waste any further time but eventually their rationality kicked in and they felt the exhaustion sticking to their bones.  
When Tony arrived at his apartment he sunk down on his couch with a well-needed beer in his hand, trying to stop the thoughts from racing through his mind.  
He simply couldn't stop imagining what was happening with Ziva while he was sitting here doing nothing but drowning his sorrows in alcohol.

After his third beer he fell asleep on his couch in a rather uncomfortable position but it didn't really matter since he hadn't had rested throughout the last days and he would take any sleep he would get.  
Once he was caught in a deeper sleep a dream overcame him.

Ziva stood in front of him, smiling brightly. She was wearing a light summer dress and her hair was falling down her shoulders in curls. He retorted her smile and could see how happy she was.  
After a few more seconds he took in the surroundings and recognized where they were.  
It seemed like they were in Israel and for a brief moment he wondered why they were there, but this thought didn't last too long.  
Just when he was about to focus on Ziva again he saw her turning her back on him, her smile long gone.  
She didn't say a word when she started walking away from him and the last thing he saw was the cold expression lying in her eyes before she broke their eye contact.  
The view broke his heart and he desperately tried to stop her from walking away, he didn't want to be left behind.  
He screamed her name over and over again and that's when he woke up from his dream.  
Tony was panting heavily and had problems composing himself while trying to convince himself that it was just a bad dream. Still it left him with a bad taste in his mouth.  
"_You can't leave me, Ziva."_ He whispered after what felt like an eternity before he fell back into another restless sleep. Again.

* * *

**Keep sending me your reviews because they're what keeps me going & they always make my day!**


	11. Pain

**First of all: Thank you for your patience! Some of you might now how it feels like to have a writer's block when there's so much to tell.  
This is a short chapter and I'm aware of that, but I hope to post another one this weekend - I will try my best, ok?  
Again: Please take note of the rating, this chapter totally fits into this rating. I just wanted to warn you.  
And now enjoy reading anyway!**

* * *

It seemed like an endless amount of time had passed until she heard heavy steps walking towards the door and he reappeared with several wires in his hands, a smug grin on his lips.  
She looked up at him as soon as he heard him entering the room, trying to avoid showing the fear that was now ever so present in her eyes since she knew what he was planning.  
She had been on the other side of this game as well and knew that the next minutes or even hours would be painful, torturous.

Suddenly a thought shot through her mind. What about her baby? Would it be safe? She couldn't bear the thought of her baby, no, their baby, getting hurt. It was all too much, but she couldn't allow herself to show any fear, not now, not in front of this man.  
"I think you had enough time to reconsider your decision, my _dear_ Ziva. Do you want to tell me what your answer is after this, well, rather cold time in here?"  
He knew that she was close to breaking and didn't miss a chance to push her even further into desperation.  
"You already know my answer, Calev." Ziva now spitted out through clenched teeth which brought on another slap in her face followed by a punch in her abdomen.  
"I really thought you would've changed your mind by now." Calev replied with a smirk on his lips.  
"But it seems like you're still as stubborn as you were back then."  
Before he continued his little speech he started attaching the wires to her wrists and ankles, fastening them tighter than necessary.  
"Look Ziva. I don't like this either, you know? But I have orders, and you should know that orders are to be followed even if you don't like them."

With these words said he started sending electricity through the wires attached to Ziva's body.  
She immediately squirmed with pain trying to keep a straight face which was nearly impossible since her whole body was shaking under the seemingly never-ending stream of electricity.  
Every time she thought this nightmare had finally come to an end he kept sending new streams through her fragile body, causing the tears to silently stream down her cheeks and there was nothing she could do about it.  
When he finally stopped the torture she was hunched down as much as it was possible in her situation, trying to compose her still shaking body.  
With her last ounce of strength Ziva looked up towards Calev, her eyes giving away fighting spirit and desperation all at once.  
"I think it's time to get your team over here, the plans are already made and you had your chance, Ziva." Was the last thing Calev said before he turned his back on her and walked away.  
"No" Ziva whispered, the pain quite evident in her voice.  
_"Not my family."_

* * *

**_Another thing: Thanks for the reviews and follows/favourites, I greatly appreciate them and try involve your thoughts into the storyline! It would make me happy if you drop another review in the box underneath :)_**


	12. Safe

**First of all: Thank you for the follows/reviews and everything & thank you for still being with me!  
I struggled a lot while writing this chapter because it was tricky, but nevertheless it's the longest chapter so far, because I stay true to my promises! I try to involve your reviews and I'm open for your suggestions!  
And for now: Enjoy reading!**

* * *

"_Don't you realize this? Every other morning you come to work, bragging about your latest women stories. I mean don't you have the slightest respect left in your body? These are actually humans you are talking about. And now you're asking me what is wrong with ME?"_

Ziva's words from a few days ago were still racing through Tony's mind.  
Why had she reacted like this? Was there more behind her behavior?  
He hasn't seen her that upset in ages and even though her eyes never shut up he was unable to find the reason behind their argument.  
He didn't want to think about the possibilities though.  
What if she cared about him as much as he did care for her? This was something that was beyond anything he could imagine but the thought wouldn't leave his mind no matter how much he tried to convince himself that it wasn't anywhere near considerable. _  
_

"DiNozzo!" Tony startled at the sound of his name and realized that he had daydreamed while being at work and Gibbs was the one to pull him out of his thoughts.  
"Campfire, now!" Tony quickly walked towards the middle of the squad room only to receive another headslap from Gibbs. "And stop daydreaming when we have a job to do."  
"Got it boss." He replied slightly remorseful trying to concentrate on the current situation.  
"McGee and Abby were able to scan the warehouses around DC with IR cameras and found a suspicious building with presumably two persons in it. We're planning to check and storm it tonight."  
Tony looked up at him questioningly, wondering what exactly his plan was.  
"Uhm, boss, do you think we can manage this? I mean, you and me and McGee?"  
He knew that it would be hard to complete this mission with one man, or more woman, down but he also knew that Gibbs always knew what he was doing.  
"We will take Ducky and Jimmy with us in case we need medical help on the spot. Does that answer your question, Tony?" Gibbs answered the question of his agent and before he could reply added  
"Now grab your gear and don't forget about your bulletproof vests. We need to be positioned before it gets dark outside."  
With these words said both of the agents went to their desks to get ready for their mission.  
-

It was almost 8 pm and the team was seated in the van near the warehouse, ready to get into their positions.  
Tony was still tense, even more than McGee was and Gibbs could feel how nervous both of them were. It was only a matter of time until Tony spoke up.  
"Boss?" He waited until Gibbs was looking at him before he continued speaking.  
"What if…something goes wrong?" It was one of his biggest fears, that they could make a mistake, that something could ruin their mission. That they could lose her.  
"_Couldn't live without you, I guess." _He was remember of his own words and once again he realized how true they really were. He couldn't live without her.  
"Tony," Gibbs looked at his senior field agent intently when talking to him "It's going to be alright. _She_ is going to be alright. Trust me."  
Hearing those words from him Tony let out the breath he didn't knew he was holding.  
"Now, are you ready to go?" Gibbs looked at his two agents once again before he got ready.  
"Yes boss." They both replied in unison and without another word said they left the van to storm the warehouse.  
To save Ziva.  
-

When the door opened she didn't expect it to be _them.  
_Her eyes shot up in shock, immediately realizing how dangerous the situation was.  
Calev was standing next to her and now he was confronted with her team.  
She was glad to see them, to see that they came to save her, once again, but at the same time she wished they would've stayed away. She didn't want them to get hurt.

The only thing she could do was to send a pleading look to Tony, begging him to leave as long as it was possible.  
As soon as Calev had took in the situation he came to stand behind Ziva, his knife resting on the skin of her throat.  
The team immediately pointed their guns on him and Gibbs was the first one to speak up since they entered the room.  
"Put down that knife Calev. We both know that you don't want to do this."  
When Calev didn't move the slightest bit they knew that they would have to act soon to prevent any further damage.  
"Do you really think it works like this, Gibbs?" A smug smile was playing on his lips since he felt like he was still in power of this situation.  
"We both know that you don't want her to get hurt. And really, I don't want this either, really. So you better leave us alone now."  
They could see that his words weren't anything but a lie, because the fresh cuts on Ziva's skin were clearly visible just as several other wounds and scars.

"Listen Calev, if you let go of her now we can talk about this and the judgment won't be that hard. Simply put down your knife, now." Gibbs had changed his strategy, unsure if it would really work out.  
When he still didn't move the slightest they all knew that the situation became too dangerous for them to not act.  
Tony looked at Gibbs expectantly and received a small nod, barely noticeable, but it was enough for him to do what needed to be done.

The shot fell and immediately pierced his skull. The grip on the knife loosened and he fell to the ground, his head now lying in a pool of his own blood.  
Tony was the first one to move, he just needed to make sure that Ziva was ok.  
"Ziva!" He exclaimed while bending down to hr level to loosen the cable ties around her wrists.  
"Tony." She replied, her voice barely above a whisper and a few tears escaping before she managed to pull him into a slight hug.

He soon realized that she was too weak to walk herself and even though he knew that she wouldn't like it that much, he began to lift her from the chair to carry her outside. He was surprised though when she didn't struggle against his gesture.  
"It's going to be ok Ziva. Ducky is already waiting outside and we will bring you to the hospital. You are safe now." Tony softly whispered into her ear to calm her down a little and he immediately felt her relax into his arms a little more, her head resting against his shoulder.

He turned around to look at Tony and once again Gibbs nodded at him, silently telling him that they would do the work so he could bring Ziva to Ducky.  
Before they finally left the room Gibbs turned to Ziva and gently kissed her forehead.  
"I'm glad we have you back kid." He smiled at her softly.  
"Thank you Gibbs." She whispered and it was all she could afford, but Gibbs knew that it meant a lot to her to thank him.  
With these words said they finally walked towards the door, hoping that everything would get better.  
But for now they were all glad to have Ziva back.  
And for Tony it was all he could've ever asked for.  
He had saved her.  
Again.

* * *

**I think this chapter is a milestone (at least for me) and I really want to hear your thoughts on this, it's really important for future chapters! Plus your reviews keep me going!  
On another note: I'm not a professional for saving scenes like this, so I'm sorry in case I made any mistakes or something doesn't seem 100 % plausible. Don't be too hard on me, ok? (:**


	13. Revelation

**Hey guys, you can't imagine how proud I'm of this chapter! And yes, I almost cried while writing this, but don't worry, it's just a really emotional chapter and I think it's full of surprises!  
Plus I'm really happy to involve Ducky again - don't we all secretly love him?  
Anyway: Enjoy reading and thanks for sticking around - I loved seeing all the favourites/follows!  
**

* * *

Ducky was already walking towards them when they exited the warehouse.  
He immediately concentrated his entire attention towards Ziva who was still lying limp in Tony's arms.  
"Ziva! It's good to see you again my dear. The paramedics will arrive in a few minutes. Until then let me check on you, if that is ok of course."  
Since Ziva was unable to fully comprehend the situation Tony answered for her.  
"I think that's ok with her Ducky. Just…be careful, ok?" Tony was truly concerned and Ducky understood him pretty well.  
He carefully put her down on a gurney, hesitantly letting go of her bruised body and Ducky started examining her for severe damage that needed immediate treatment.  
"I think most of the cuts and bruises are superficial and might need some stitches here and there, but besides that I can't tell you what's going on inside her body. We will have to wait until the ambulance arrives."  
Tony was visibly relieved by Ducky's words, but he nevertheless struggled because there was one question all time present on his mind.  
Ziva seemed absent, far away from reality and it made him feel restless and scared him a little.  
He motioned Ducky aside to voice his concerns.  
"Do you think she'll make it? I mean…not physical, but mentally. She seems so fragile, broken and it scares me to see her like that."  
Ducky understood the fears of the agent in front of him and tried to find comforting words.

"You know our Ziva, Tony. She's a strong woman and I know her family cares for her and with our help she'll make it through this hard time. Just give her the time she needs."  
"You're probably right Ducky, thank you." Tony replied, settling on his answer.  
Their conversation was interrupted though when Ziva spoke up behind them. It was more of a whisper, her voice almost cracking.

"What about the baby? Is it going to be ok?" The panic had overcome Ziva and in this moment the baby was all that mattered to her. It didn't matter that Tony was standing beside her.  
She just needed to know. Before one of the men could actually answer her question the tears were already streaming down Ziva's face and it was a heartbreaking sight for both of them.  
Tony on the other hand still couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Was she really talking about a baby? This couldn't be possible. Not now. But he couldn't be dreaming, right?  
Before he could make up any more questions in his mind he was interrupted by Ziva's voice once more.  
"Ducky?" She silently questioned.  
And Ducky knew that it wasn't wise to discuss this whole subject right now, that it wouldn't help to question the background.  
"We will have to see my dear. I promise you to tell the doctors about it and they will take care of that at the hospital, ok? A good friend of mine works there and I will make sure he checks on you."

Ziva seemed to calm down at his words, but seeing Tony remaining silent scared her once more.  
"Tony?" Hearing the fear in Ziva's voice he walked closer towards her, taking one of her hands in his.  
"Hey, Zee. Let us get you to the hospital first. We can talk once the doctors checked on you, ok?" He tried to stay calm, tried to process the information she just gave him.

"Don't leave me Tony, please." Ziva begged her voice barely above a whisper.  
"I won't Ziva, trust me. I'll come with you to the hospital once the ambulance arrives, don't worry about it."  
Tony was confused, maybe a little terrified at what all of this could mean as well, but he knew that Ziva's wellbeing was more important at this point. And seemingly the wellbeing of the baby as well.  
He didn't really dare to think about it but deep down he knew that it was a result of their night spent together. But they would have enough time to talk about it once Ziva was in a better condition.  
For now he would simply stay by her side. It was a silent promise he made when she came back from Somalia. He was too afraid of losing her again since then.  
When the paramedics arrived to take care of Ziva he insisted on coming with her and judging by Tony's face they didn't dare to discuss with him.

* * *

Once at the hospital Tony, Ducky and Palmer were impatiently waiting in one of the sparely furnished waiting rooms. Gibbs and McGee were still doing the necessary work and Abby called in to tell them she was on their way.  
Tony, however, was the only one pacing around, unable to sit still while waiting for one of the doctors to show up again. Ducky could only slightly comfort him when he told him that Ziva had the best doctors taking care of her since he was able to pull some strings.  
When they had waited another agonizing hour the doctor finally brought the news.  
"Mr. DiNozzo? Miss David asked for you. We finished examining and medicating her for now and think she's ready to see you. But you should take it slow; she's still pretty upset and exhausted from the latest events." The doctor nodded slightly towards Tony's direction before leaving the room again.  
Tony took one last deep breath before heading towards Ziva's room and the last thing he saw were Ducky's and Jimmy's encouraging smiles.  
"_No or never_" he silently told himself, and with that he carefully opened the door to find a fragile Ziva lying in the large hospital bed and he knew it was going to be a long night, but he would be there.  
For her.

* * *

**Soooo...who expected this? Tony now knows it...well, almost ;)  
Are you excited for their talk? Well, I am!  
Let me know what you think and write me a short review - they always make my day and keep me going, seriously!  
Also: I finally reached 10.000+ words, so this is huge guys, really huge! Thank you for everything so far! **


	14. Clarifications

**So I think I'm getting better at this longer chapters thingy, or not?  
Thanks again for the reviews/favourites/alerts! And hey, you can trust me with my knowledge, I actually work(ed) at the hospital which is quite helpful!  
Be prepared for an emotional chapter & enjoy reading!**

* * *

"Hey" He silently greeted her while hesitantly walking towards Ziva and coming to stand in front of her bed.  
Unsure what to do he nervously shuffled his feet before she smiled at him weakly and padded on the bed, gesturing for him to sit down next to her.  
"Hey" She replied shyly, the hesitance in her voice causing Tony to look at her surprised.  
He had never seen her like this before. She certainly seemed to be broken after Somalia, but now it was different. Now she seemed to be lost. And it unsettled Tony even further.

"How are you feeling sweet cheeks?" Ziva noticed that he genuinely seemed to care about her wellbeing and it gave her the strength to approach the subject.  
"A little sore and exhausted to be honest. I'm glad to be out of this hellhole, it was" She hesitated as is trying to push away the thoughts of her captivity. She didn't want to think about the past days now.  
He knew that she was avoiding something and he wondered what exactly it was. And he finally wanted to ask her about the baby, but it scared him, because he didn't know it everything was ok. Didn't know if she wanted to talk about it. And most of all he knew there was more to it, but he didn't know what it was.

"Ziva, may I ask you something?" He finally asked her.  
She inhaled sharply as if knowing what he was about to ask and simply nodded in reply.  
"When I carried you out of the building to Ducky earlier you mentioned…" Tony swallowed hard "you said something about a baby."  
He waited for her reaction, seeing that she began fidgeting with her fingers and shuffling under the covers.  
She definitely felt uncomfortable talking about this.  
"Ziva, please look at me. Who is the father?"  
It seemed to be so obvious and yet he needed the confirmation. Her confirmation.

"Tony, I…" Her voice threatened to break away, but she knew he deserved to know the truth.  
"I wanted to tell you earlier, but then…well, you know what happened then." She whispered.  
"I found out that I was pregnant before I got captured. And you were the only one I slept with, so…" She looked down again, unable to see his reaction.

"Is…is the baby ok now?" Tony had gotten her wink and was now terrified that something could've happened. Something that would finally break Ziva.  
His question caught her somehow off guard and when she answered she met his deep green eyes which held a truly caring look.  
"Yes. The doctors said it's a miracle that the baby survived without further damage. But I need to rest throughout the next weeks to recover fully and let the baby recover as well from the incident."  
Tony let out a sigh of relief when he heard that they were going to be ok. Something he couldn't quite grasp, since he hadn't even known about this baby before they rescued Ziva.

His relief was interrupted though when another thought shot through his mind.  
"And…do you want to keep it? I mean, the baby?" He almost whispered by now, unsure if he wanted to know what she was going to tell him.  
Of course, it was her decision after all, and the circumstances weren't great, but something inside him rebelled at the thought of losing this baby.  
His thoughts were interrupted when Ziva took one of his hands in hers and began lazily rubbing circles on the back of it.  
"You know, when I found out about the little one I wasn't sure about anything. I didn't know…and still don't know how I will manage this." She gave him a moment to take in her words before continuing in a thoughtful voice.  
"But when I was held captive everything changed. I was so afraid of losing the baby, was afraid that Calev would hurt it. In this moment I realized that I wanted to keep it, no matter how hard it was going to be. I was almost feared more for this tiny human than for myself when the electric shock waved through my body. I was terrified Tony."

By the end of the sentence she began sobbing and her petite frame was shaking violently and once Tony realized how battered she really was he gently pulled her into a tight hug, silently telling her to let it all out.  
His shirt was already soaked with her tears when her sobs slowly subsided.  
"Hey Zi, it's ok, you're safe now and so is the baby." Tony reassured her once more while fighting back his own tears.  
"Look at me. You are not alone in this, ok? I told you earlier that I won't leave you, and this promise still applies. We will find a way through this but the most important thing right now is that you calm down and rest a little, alright?" He gently brushed her cheeks with his thumb to wipe away the last tears and softly smiled at her.  
She shot him a small smile as well before another thought came up.

"Thank you Tony. But I don't want to pressure you into anything. I mean, I don't want to force you to take care of me…or the baby." She swallowed heavily, admitting to herself that she didn't know what to do if she would be alone in this.  
But she had to give him the chance to back out of this, no matter how hard it was.  
"Don't even think something like that Ziva. I know, the circumstances aren't the best and our relationship is, well, complicated, but that doesn't mean I won't support you. No matter where the future leads us I will be with you all the way. And don't think I'll change my mind about this. I care for you Ziva. And the baby is now a part of you. A part of us. And I will love the little one just as much."He let the words sink in for a moment, before adding "Let's figure out the rest later, ok?"

Ziva was overwhelmed by his confession and needed a moment to compose herself before realizing that the exhaustion had finally kicked in.  
"Tony?" She hesitated, wondering if she should really continue speaking. He looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue.  
"I want to rest a little, but…I'm afraid of being alone. Could you…" She couldn't finish the sentence and was looking down at their still intertwined hands when she heard him speaking up.  
"Yes, I can stay with you if it makes you feel better."  
She looked up at him shyly and immediately began to shuffle in her bed, making clear that she wanted Tony to lay down next to her.  
He quickly got out of his shoes and got under the covers before intertwining their hands again.  
Once his head met the pillow he felt tiredness overcoming him as well.  
The past days were physically and emotionally exhausting and it was only now he realized this.  
He quickly dimmed the light in the room before speaking up one last time.  
"I'm glad you're back." He mumbled.  
And it was all that needed to be said in this moment.  
Because it was true. He was glad.  
And that was all that mattered. For now.

* * *

**I guess everyone is letting out a sigh of relief by now because the baby survived, right? And I think their joruney will be full of surprises in the future. Expect the unexpected!  
And again: Your reviews make me happy, so...let me know what you think or what you want to see in future chapters!  
**


	15. Appointments

**I already had this chapter on my mind last night and that's why you already get a new chapter!  
This was the first time ever I was completely relaxed while writing & it surprised me, really.  
And I'm more than happy to introduce a new character after Calev had to die, and I think it could be something more permanent this time.  
Thanks again for your reviews - and yes, I do try my best, even though English isn't my first language!  
And now enjoy reading & please review (:**

* * *

Ziva awoke the next morning with her back pressed against Tony's chest and his arms wrapped around her middle. His hand was protectively resting on her bare stomach and his gesture made her cry a little.  
He really cared for the baby.  
She slowly replayed last night's events, thinking about everything Tony had said.  
And she couldn't help but feel safe in his arms and lulled into his words.  
She was surprised though when she realized that the night went by rather uneventful.  
There were no nightmares and she seemingly didn't kick around in her sleep.

Her thoughts were abruptly interrupted when a sudden feeling of nausea overcame her, causing her to jump up from the bed and making her way to the small bathroom. She didn't came far though before she began feeling dizzy because of getting up too fast.  
Tony immediately shot up in bed sawing her holding the frame of the bed in a death grip, her face just as pale as the sheets on the bed.  
He quickly got out of the bed to support her, concern evident on his face.  
"Hey, what's going on?" He asked gently.  
"Just help me get to the bathroom, ok? I…I don't feel all too well." She replied between shuddering breaths, still trying to recover from the sudden dizziness.  
'Morning sickness" Tony thought and slowly but steadily led her towards the bathroom.

Once arrived she immediately bent over the toiled and was throwing up violently.  
The sight of her being sick broke his heart and he came to rest behind her, holding back her unruly hair preventing it from fall into her face.  
He rubbed small circles on her back to calm her down, showing her that she wasn't alone.  
When she was finally done she leaned back against his chest, allowing him to wrap his arms around her anew.  
Her face was sweaty from the previous struggle and he carefully bent over to grab a towel from the hook.  
"Do you feel a little better now sweet cheeks?" He softly whispered into her ear while handing her the towel.  
She thought about her current state for second before responding.  
"Yeah, a little. I'm exhausted, but besides that I'm ok."  
For a second she contemplated if she should tell him that he didn't have to do this, but she somehow knew that he would wave it aside.  
And to be honest she was glad that he was there.

"Hey, let's get up so you can rinse your mouth, alright?" He told her before planting a small kiss on the side of her forehead.  
Once they were finished in the bathroom they went back to the bed, Tony still by her side in case the dizziness returned.  
"It's alright Tony. I just got up a little quick." Ziva tried to reassure him, but Tony wouldn't hear her.

"Did this happen before?" He now wanted to know. And she knew he wasn't talking about the dizziness but about the morning sickness.  
"Yes, once or twice, but I was able to fight it back when Calev was around. I didn't want him to sense anything." She now sat on the bed, her chin resting on her knees, her arms protectively wrapped around her legs.  
"I was afraid that if he would find out about my pregnancy he would use it to threaten me even more. And besides that…I hate feeling weak and knowing there's nothing I can do about it but to endure it."

Tony sat down next to her on the bed, cupping her hands with his.  
"It must've been difficult." He admitted silently. "And I can't imagine what it must feel like. But this too shall pass, always remember that, ok? You are strong Ziva, stronger than you think you are."  
He reassured her and she was grateful that he did. She softly smiled at him and he shot her an infamous DiNozzo grin in response.

"Hey, are you hungry? I could go to the cafeteria and get you whatever you like."  
Ziva shot a glance at the clock, seeing that it was almost 9 am.  
"I'm not sure if I'm really hungry, plus I have an appointment with a psychologist at 9:00. She wanted to come here to see me."  
Ziva seemed nervous about the upcoming appointment and looked down again.

"There's no need to worry about this Ziva, ok? They just want to help you and you can always stop the conversation when you feel uncomfortable. How about I get you something to eat while she visits you?"  
Their conversation was interrupted by a gentle knock on the door and Ziva simply nodded in reply before calling the visitor in.

They both looked towards the door to see the psychologist entering the room.  
She seemed to be in her mid-thirties, her middle brown hair loosely falling from her shoulders a smile playing on her lips.  
Tony immediately got up to greet the woman.  
"Hello, I'm Emily Parker. I will be Miss David's psychologist for the next time."  
"Anthony DiNozzo. I'm Ziva's work partner and friend. Nice to meet you." Tony didn't exactly know how to define their relationship at the moment, that's why he settled for this explanation.

"And you must be Ziva." Emily walked towards Ziva's bed to greet her as well. She softly shook her hand before saying "Feel free to call me Emily. I think it relaxes the situation a little more." and smiling at her brightly.  
She settled on the chair next to her bed and Tony took this as his sign to leave for the cafeteria.

He reassuringly smiled at Ziva one more time before silently making his way to the door and leaving the room.  
He wanted to give her some time with Emily alone and it also gave him the opportunity to think about everything as well.  
And there was a lot of thinking to do. Of that he was sure.

* * *

**Sooo, I think you will all like Emily - and I sense that Tony and Ziva will grow to like her as well, or not? ;)**


	16. Cravings

**As you may have noticed I manage to write more frequently at the moment, and to be honest I'm happy about it. I'm a lot more relaxed & at ease while writing and it's truly a joyful experience.  
I don't hurry through the chapters anymore & manage to write a little better and I hope you like it that way!  
Thank you for staying with me, I never thought that this story would get that big!  
My "promise" from the beginning still applies: This won't be too typical and I hope you see it the same way!  
Now enjoy reading & please review again (:**

* * *

Standing in the cafeteria of the hospital Tony examined the selection of food they offered, wondering what Ziva would want to have for breakfast.  
Remembering the words from yesterday he thought that Ziva should take it easy with her meals as well and decided on looking for something lighter.  
He quickly got hold of a simple ham and cheese sandwich and added a fruit salad, before getting sandwich with bacon for himself and adding tea and coffee to it.

Once he was waiting at the check-out he let his mind wander to the previous events.  
He really hoped that Emily was able to help Ziva, hoped Ziva would open up a little. She was always stubborn when it came to accepting help and he knew that.  
But Ziva couldn't just bottle her emotions up again. He wouldn't let her do it again, not this time.  
Promising her that she wouldn't be alone in this weren't just hollow words; he really meant them and planned on staying true to them.  
When it was his turn to pay he quickly pulled out the money and began putting everything in a lunch bag.

Since he had some time left until he could return to Ziva he decided on calling Gibbs to fill him in on Ziva's condition while taking a small walk through the garden of the hospital.  
He hit the speed dial on his phone and Gibbs picked up immediately.  
"Yeah, Gibbs." He answered the incoming call.  
"Uhm, hey boss. I thought I would let you know how Ziva is doing." Tony sounded a little insecure all of the sudden, unsure of what to tell him exactly.  
"So? How is she doing Tony?" Gibbs tried to ignore the fact that Tony seemed a little nervous.  
"From what I can tell she had a peaceful night, but she also suffered from morning sickness. The psychologist is now with her. I really hope she talks to her." Tony had thought about not telling Gibbs about the morning sickness part, but figured out he knew about this problem.  
Gibbs on the other hand didn't attempt to ask him out on why he knew about Ziva's night. He was also thoughtful enough to not approach Ziva's pregnancy on the phone. He knew Tony would come around in time. Instead he gave Tony a typical Gibbs answer.  
"Tell Ziva I'll come over for lunch." He replied and before hanging up on him added "Take care of her DiNozzo."  
Left with these words Tony knew that his last sentence meant so much more than just taking care of her until he would come over.  
He knew his boss had just told him to not screw this up. And he would do everything in his power to not screw up.

A glance at the clock on his phone told him that it was already 9:45, time to head back to Ziva's room.  
Gently knocking at her door he was making sure to not accidentally walk into a conversation, but entering the room he saw that Emily seemed long gone.  
Instead he was greeted by a small smile of Ziva who was leaning against the headboard, apparently already waiting for him.  
It seemed like she had cried a little, but he could tell she was a little more at ease now.

"Hey" he softly greeted her „I brought you the promised breakfast." He now waved with the lunch bag in his hand and started placing the cups and food on the small table beside her bed.  
She carefully watched him pulling out the sandwiches and fruit salad.  
"I thought you would like a ham and cheese sandwich and some fruits and your favourite tea. I mean, I wasn't sure what you should or should not eat, considering…but I hope that's ok." Tony told her hesitantly, with a sheepish smile on his face.

Ziva had to let out a muffled laugh at his insecurity and gladly took a sip of her tea.  
"It's fine Tony, really. I'm glad to get some real food and you were really thoughtful." She replied, placing a hand on his arm in reassurance.  
"So, how was the time with Emily? She seemed to be a nice woman." Tony carefully approached the subject. They were interrupted though when Tony placed his cup of coffee next to Ziva's cup and she began inhaling the scent of it.

The nausea from earlier immediately hit her again and she tried not to throw up.  
"Ugh, Tony. Take away the coffee, please." She managed to choke out and Tony needed a few moments before realizing that the smell actually made her feel sick.  
"Oh sorry Zi, I didn't intend to.." He quickly grabbed his cup of coffee and threw it away.  
"No, it's ok. I just think my stomach disagrees a little." She shot him a quick apologetically smile before answering his previous question.  
"Emily is actually really nice and understanding. I think she understands me and that I can live with her as my therapist."

He was glad to hear her saying it, even though he couldn't help but feel a little jealous at the thought that Ziva was talking to her and not him.  
'She'll talk to you when she's ready DiNozzo' he inwardly scolded himself before turning his attention back to her.  
"That sounds great, really! I'm glad you like her. Oh and by the way, Gibbs will come over for lunch. If that's ok with you of course." He didn't want to pressure her, since he knew she still needed to rest.  
"No, that's absolutely fine with me." She noticed that he treated her extra carefully but bit back a comment, knowing that he didn't do it on purpose or with any bad intentions.

"The fruits are really delicious; I think I could get used to this." She now hummed in approval of her breakfast.  
It was almost a sensation and she had rarely experienced this kind of love for a certain kind of food, but quickly shrugged it off as a craving that would follow her throughout the pregnancy.  
"Does that mean I have bring you fruit salad on a daily base now?" Tony countered with mock exasperation in his voice.  
Ziva laughed at Tony's expression, able to forget their surroundings and situations for a moment.  
"Of course Tony. I mean it's your fault that I discovered it. And you better not mess with a pregnant woman!"

The words came out quick and without second thoughts, something Ziva regretted immediately.  
She knew that it was still a sensible subject they needed to discuss further but she didn't mean to address it now.  
Tony however noticed that Ziva felt uncomfortable and tried to lighten the mood with one of his jokes.  
"Well, at least I won't have to drive across the whole country to get the food you want, which makes it a lot easier." He told her teasingly.  
Ziva let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, glad that Tony understood that she didn't want to talk about it now.  
She also knew that they had a lot to discuss, but for now she was content with their current situation, content with the fact that Tony was still with her.  
And really, was there any more she could ask for right now?


	17. Couchsurfing

**Here's a little "shorter" chapter since I was in the mood to write and this chapter will lead up to a longer chapter.  
I hope you like it anyway and thanks for your reviews again!  
As usual: Enjoy reading, let me know what you think & off I am!**

* * *

It was almost lunch time when Gibbs arrived at the hospital.  
The room was now filled with the smell of Chinese food and silent chattering between the three of them.  
Ziva enjoyed the time she was spending with her closest family, even though she didn't say much herself before one of them addressed her directly.  
"So what are your plans for the next days Ziver?" Gibbs asked her with a fatherly tone in his voice.  
"I'm not sure yet. The doctors told me they could discharge me today with the promise to not stay alone at home for the next few days. I have to come in for a check-up by the end of the week though."

Contemplating her reply she looked down at her hands intently and began fidgeting with the sheets.  
"Sounds plausible and you better listen to the doctor's advice!" Gibbs now shot a glance in Tony's direction as if knowing what was about to come and almost pushing him to say something.

"Uhhm, hey, how about I crash on your couch the next couple of days to make sure you're ok. I could also bring over some of my movies if you would like that." Tony seemed a little insecure all of a sudden, not knowing if it was too much in their situation. He also didn't want to pressure her into anything or make things awkward between them.  
"I think I would like that." Ziva simply replied, still looking down and blushing slightly. The hormones were getting the best of her again.  
She really had to remind herself that they weren't giddy teenagers anymore but grown adults and friends who took care of each other.

"Alright, couch surfing it is!" He exclaimed before getting up to tell the doctors about their decision and added "I'll take you home with my car and we can stop by at my apartment to get some stuff, deal?"  
She nodded in his direction and spoke up once more.  
"Oh, and Tony? I have one last appointment before I can be discharged. The ob/gyn wanted to see me to check on me and talk about a few things, and I wondered…if you would like to…" She didn't even need to finish her sentence for Tony to understand.  
"Yeah, of course I would like to come with you." He shot her a bright smile before leaving the room.

Once the door was close Gibbs turned his attention back to Ziva using the time Tony would be gone.  
"Does DiNozzo know it yet?" He gently asked her, knowing she would know what he was talking about. And she did.  
"Yes, I told him yesterday and I think he took it…well so far. But we still have a lot to talk about and I'm a little scared. What if he changes his mind and decides to leave me Gibbs?" Her voice was barely above a whisper and she looked lost in her hospital bed all of a sudden.  
He could see the emotions raging inside of her reassuringly patted her hands.  
"He won't Ziver, trust me. Tony might seem a little childish at times but deep down he's a good man and I'll make sure he doesn't back out of this, trust me."  
Ziva looked up into his eyes in surprise, not quite being used to hearing so many words in a row from him.  
"Thank you Gibbs, it means a lot to me." She replied in a small voice and Gibbs simply bent down to her level to softly kiss her forehead.  
"Nothing to thank for kid."

He didn't need to say more and didn't get the chance anyway since Tony had just reentered the room, waving the discharge papers in the air, smiling brightly.  
"I just got green light from your doctor. Now when is your appointment?" He asked while walking towards her bed to settle down next to her not caring that Gibbs was still in the room.

Ziva took a quick look at the clock and almost shot out of the bed in a sudden hurry, regretting it once she was seated on the edge of the bed feeling the dizziness take over once more.  
"Hey, slow down ninja, no need to hurry!" Tony exclaimed while steadying her with his hand on her back.  
"Sorry." She mumbled between her deep breaths to make the nasty feeling go away.  
"I take it the appointment is soon?" Tony put together the pieces of the scenario in front of him.  
"Yeah, in 15 Minutes, and I still have to get dressed." She began fumbling around to find her clothes recognizing that someone must have brought her a fresh pair of cargos and a shirt which she was really grateful for.

Tony and Gibbs were clever enough to not interrupt Ziva fussing around, but had to remind her once or twice to take it slow before they were finally ready to leave.  
Ziva luckily didn't have many belongings to take with her since she only stayed one night and Tony had been able to put everything into the small bag he brought in for her.  
"Ready?" He asked silently while pushing the door open for Ziva to leave the small hospital room.  
"Yes." She simply replied in with that they were off to her appointment.

And she couldn't help but being nervous. Little did she know that Tony was tense as well as this was probably the first time ever he got to see their little baby.  
And this was an overwhelming thought, especially for a man like DiNozzo, even though he would most likely never admit it.  
He took one last breath before following Ziva down the hall, ready for whatever was to come.


	18. Ultrasound

**I think I've finally gone mad since I write more than ever - but I think you like it as well!  
At this rate I can take things slow since I update almost every day. I love reading your reviews, and don't worry, there will be a lot of conversations when the time arrives!  
Now: Enjoy reading and please leave me a review - I love every single one of you!**

* * *

When Ziva was called into the doctor's office they got to meet Dr. Cooper. Ziva already knew her a little from yesterday but Tony wasn't familiar with her to that point.  
"Hello, I'm Lauren Cooper, Ziva's ob/gyn from now on. And you are?" Lauren shook Tony's hand greeting him with a warm smile.  
Tony cleared his throat before actually replying. "Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, but call me Tony. I'm her work partner and friend…" His voice began to trail off before Ziva added "And he's the father of the baby." She blushed slightly, quickly looking down to avoid any glances.  
Lauren immediately understood that things were a little more difficult between but decided to not poke around unless they would tell her anything about their situation. Her priority was to make them feel comfortable around her.

"Alright, take a seat Ziva and Tony. Let's begin with the easier things. I know I already examined you yesterday but we didn't get the chance to talk through some things or answer the questions you probably have." Lauren smiled at Ziva reassuringly before opening the folder in front of her to overlook Ziva's medical records.  
"Well, as you should already know the doctors told you to rest throughout the next weeks to give your body and the baby the time to fully recover from the trauma. We also took several blood samples yesterday and they show that you're slightly anemic, which is nothing unusual, especially when we're considering your background. I will give you a list of foods that will provide you with iron so you don't have to take pills."  
Ziva silently nodded in agreement and began processing Laurens words, while Tony simply sat there slightly overwhelmed by all the facts.  
"But I will prescribe you some folic acid since your body still needs to heal and might have some problem to restore it in the beginning. It will the baby to stay healthy and grow the way it should be." And again Ziva only managed to nod which Lauren immediately noticed.

"I know it's a lot to take in right now, but trust me when I say listen to your guts, they will tell you what you really need. A lot of women who go through their first pregnancy will feel overwhelmed at times but you will adjust to that feeling soon. Feel free to ask anything that's on your mind, ok?"  
Ziva took a deep breath while trying to think if she needed to know anything else for now.  
"I…uhmm…" She slightly stuttered, not being able to form a coherent thought or even sentence.  
"It's ok if you don't have any questions yet Ziva. What about you Tony?" Lauren turned to him who was obviously taken by surprise. Of course there were a million questions on his mind and yet he was barely able to get out one of them.

"Uhm, yeah, I wanted to know if there's anything she needs to take care of, like if there's anything to keep track of." Ziva looked at him stunned and emotional over the fact how deeply he truly seemed to care about her.  
"Good question Tony." Lauren rewarded him with another bright smile, knowing that men were often left behind in all of this.  
"As you may have already noticed some women suffer from morning sickness or nausea in general. That's nothing to be worried about and will go away in time. Besides that there is the usual no alcohol/no smoking rule but she can continue to eat her normal portions for the first months and add some extra fruits and vegetables. She might feel exhausted and tired at times but that's totally normal as well. And don't be surprised if she gets a little emotional, her body still needs to adjust to the new situation."  
She winked at both of them to ease the situation a little before continuing.

"And if you don't have any further questions we can make the ultrasound Ziva. You can simply lay down and lift your shirt and open the button of your pants so I can put the gel on your stomach."  
Ziva did as she was told while Tony shuffled in his chair before getting up and going over to join Ziva.

He shyly smiled down at her, nervous at the prospect of getting to see their baby for the first time.  
_Their baby_. He would still have to get used to this.  
Lauren patiently tried to spot the fetus, eventually coming to rest on one spot of Ziva's stomach. "Here we go." She smiled at Ziva and Tony.  
They both stared at the monitor in front of them trying to make out where exactly Lauren had seen the baby.  
Seeing the confusion in their faces she pointed to the small point on the screen showing them where they needed to look.  
They were still mesmerized when Lauren spoke up again.  
"The fetus is about 1,2 inches long at this point which means you are about 10 weeks along." She told them while capture the picture in front of them and printing it out and giving Ziva some paper towels to wipe off the remaining gel before getting dressed again.

By the time she was sitting again and they were both holding a copy of the first ultrasound a single tear rolled down Ziva's cheek and Tony gently wiped it away before it could finally fall down.  
"It's amazing, isn't it? Such a tiny human being." He softly whispered close to her ear causing Ziva to shiver slightly.  
"Yes. Yes it is." She brought out between shuddering breaths while holding tight onto the picture in her hands.

Lauren gave them some privacy before walking over and patting both of them on the shoulders in a friendly manner.  
"Hey, how about you go home and relax a little. I'm sure there's a lot to progress right now. And always remember that you can call me when anything feels weird or off, ok? Otherwise I'll see you again in a few weeks."  
Tony and Ziva slowly stood up and before leaving the room Tony spoke up once more.  
"Thank you Lauren, for everything." He smiled at her and with that they were left alone with their thoughts.  
Tony knew there was a lot to talk about once they were home. And really, he couldn't wait to get out of the hospital.  
And so couldn't she.


	19. Home

**I know this chapter is a little shorter (but hey, I updated every day so far) but there's a lot Tony and Ziva have to talk about and considering the state Ziva is in I have to cut it a little shorter, I hope you understand that! I mean there are a lot of heavy subjects to be approached and I just want to give them the time they need!  
With that I leave you with this new chapter & hope you like it anyway and tell me what you think!**

* * *

The drive to her apartment was rather uneventful as both of them were lost in their thoughts.  
When they arrived he gently shook her shoulder and gestured her to exit the car as he grabbed her bag from the backseat and locked up the car before walking up beside her.  
Once they had entered her apartment Ziva silently sat down on her couch as memories flooded her mind while Tony walked over to the kitchen to pour them in some water.  
He quickly checked out several of her shelves and cupboards before realizing that she had run out of food and the only items she still had left in her fridge were out of date by now.

"I guess we have to stock up your fridge again if we don't want to starve throughout the next week." Tony chuckled as he reentered the living room, realizing he had startled Ziva a little.  
"Ugh, sorry Zi, I didn't mean to scare you!" He sounded contrite and Ziva immediately tried to reassure him.  
"No it's alright, it feels just…weird to be back at home." She shifted on the couch before sipping on the water Tony had just brought her.  
Tony looked around the room, seeing that Gibbs must have put her Menorah back in place and did some cleaning in the living room.

"It's where it happened, right?" He whispered now, scared of the memories he was bringing up in her. But he didn't want her to shut down on him again. He wouldn't risk losing her to her memories and flashbacks this time.  
"Yes." Her voice almost cracked at the simply reply she gave him.  
He didn't push her further, knowing she would talk about it when she felt the need to.  
"I…I should've…I could've seen it." She stuttered, her entire body trembling all of the sudden as she was reliving the day of her abduction, the tears uncontrollably streaming down her face.  
Tony couldn't help but pull her into a tight hug, hoping she would feel that she wasn't alone in this and that she could trust him.  
He gently ran his fingers through her hair but stopped immediately when she flinched slightly at his touch, murmuring his sorry into her ear.

"None of this is your fault Ziva. You told me he was your friend and there was no reason to be suspicious. All that matters right now is that you're alive and safe, ok?" Tony was still talking quietly, giving her the time to calm down and let out her held back emotions.  
She quickly brushed away the tears from her face before speaking up again even though her breathing was still uneven.  
"When I sat in this cold and dark room Tony I was so afraid of losing the baby. I would've never forgiven myself if anything would've happened to it." She gently pulled back from their embrace to look into his eyes.  
"But it didn't happen. You're both here now and I'm glad you are, really."  
Touched by his words a few more tears fell down her cheeks but Tony quickly leaned over to brush them away.  
Her eyes were already red rimmed and he couldn't stand to see her that drained.

"Tony…I…I know that you said you won't leave me. Us. And you don't know how much this means to me, but…I'm scared. I don't want to be left again. I had enough of that." She took a deep breath and tried to avoid looking into his eyes as she was afraid of his reaction.  
"Look at me Ziva." Tony gently lifted her chin before continuing to talk. "I meant what I said. I know we still have to figure out a lot of things, but you can be sure that you can trust me. We will find our way. We always did, that's what makes us such great partners after all!"  
A small smile appeared on her lips as he continued speaking.

"But for now I think you should get some sleep, there's a lot of catch-up to do and when you wake up again I'll still be here waiting for you." He returned her smile and planted a soft kiss on her forehead before holding out his hands to help her up.  
She was almost out of the room when she walked back to Tony and pulled him into a brief hug again.  
"Thank you Tony, for everything." She whispered into his ear and with that she was gone.  
And Tony would be waiting for her.  
Because that's what he does.  
That's what he always did.


	20. Embraces

**Ok, I thought this would be a longer chapter again, but it turns out that I wasn't in the condition to write a longer chapter for now.  
Also: This is chapter 20, which is huge & I never expected this story to be that long and I'm not even finished yet!  
Thank you for sticking around and reviewing - I love reading your thoughts!  
And now (once more): Enjoy reading (:**

* * *

Ziva was out like a light for about half an hour when Tony's phone rang. He quickly answered it to not disturb her sleep.  
"Yeah, DiNozzo." He was greeted by a male voice he immediately recognized.  
"Tony! How is Ziva doing?" Gibbs asking without beating around the bush for too long.  
"She's asleep now and I hope it stays that way for the next couple of hours." Tony sighed deeply while letting his gaze wandering towards the hall where Ziva was assumingly sleeping in her bedroom.  
"I hope the same DiNozzo." Gibbs spoke in a soft voice.  
"Listen Tony. McGee just worked on the backgrounds of Ziva's abduction and we're assuming that Mossad will hear about the incident soon. Until we know anything further about their planned steps we need you to stay with Ziva as protection detail just to be sure." It wasn't a question at all and Tony knew he would meet this obligation.

"Of course boss." Tony was about to hang up when his boss added "Oh, and Abby will call you later on. She is running around for hours now and won't stop asking about Ziva so be prepared for her call."  
Tony couldn't even reply because Gibbs had immediately hung up after warning him.  
But it was Gibbs after all so he didn't expect anything different.  
He let out another deep sigh at the prospect of Mossad interrupting their peace again.  
It almost seemed like someone didn't want them to have an easier life, but he would do anything to fight for it.  
At the same time he knew he would have to tell Ziva about it, even though he couldn't help but think that she already sensed it.  
But for now he just wanted some quiet moments and wanted to rest a little before she would wake up again.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard Ziva walking down the hallway, her steps accompanied by tiny sobs.  
When she appeared in the doorway of the room he knew that she must've had a nightmare. He had really hoped she would be free of them for once, but his plea must've stayed unheard.  
He patted on the couch next to him, gesturing her to sit down next to him.  
She gently crossed the room and didn't even hesitate when she curled up against his side and allowed his arm to wrap around her waist.  
Her head was resting on his shoulder and Tony didn't exactly know if he should ask her what exactly happened.

Ziva was still silently crying when the silence became too much for him.  
"What did you dream Ziva?" He asked while pulling her a little closer to calm her down a little.  
"It's nothing." She replied but at the same time knew that Tony wouldn't believe her.  
It was the same nightmare she had when she was held captive.  
The dream of losing her little baby girl while everything had seemed so perfectly fine.  
And she wasn't quite ready to share the details of it.  
"Ziva, I can see that it is not nothing if it makes you cry." His voice was laced with worry and sadness.  
"I was just so afraid of losing the baby that it followed me into my dreams." She settled on an answer.  
A day ago he hadn't even known about the baby and yet he somehow understood her fear of losing it.  
It was hard though to grasp the pain she must've been through while she sat in this cold and dark room, it was something he could barely fathom.

Her hitched breathing slowly subsided and Tony softly whispered into her ear.  
"It must've been hard, but you are so strong Ziva. So, so strong." He heard her breathing even out and when he looked down he noticed that she had fallen asleep again, exhausted and warmed by his embrace.  
Her facial expression gave away that her sleep must be peaceful and he was glad that she found comfort and security in his embrace.  
He leaned his head back and closed his eyes in order to rest a little as well, now that he knew she would be out for a while.  
His last thought before sleep took over was that he could get used to this.  
Not that he would ever admit it to her though.  
That would have to wait until she recovered a little more, and he would wait, of that he was sure.


	21. Friends

**Here we go with a new chapter - thanks for sharing your thoughts, I love talking to you guys, you are truly amazing!  
About the story in general: I always try to involve the entire team but it takes up a lot of time to write a chapter the more characters you involve & I hope you understand the difficulty.  
Anyway this chapter will bring you some Abby action (yay?) and it's a joy to write about her!  
Enough of the rambling part - enjoy reading (:**

* * *

Tony woke up from the buzzing phone in his pocket and tried to move gently to not wake up Ziva.  
He quickly opened the text message and read what it said.  
"Hey Tony, will come over in 0030 if that's ok." It was Abby. For a brief moment he considered canceling her plans because he wanted Ziva to rest a little more, but he also knew that Abby's friendship meant a lot to Ziva.  
"Alright, we'll be there." Tony put his phone on the coffee table before turning his attention back to Ziva.  
He softly caressed her cheeks while quietly talking to her.  
"Hey Zi, it's time to wake up. Abby will come over soon." She slowly opened her eyes trying to take in her surroundings to make sure she was really home.  
For a brief moment a look of relief crossed her face and Tony could tell she was afraid of being back in that hellhole.  
"It's ok, you're back home and safe." He reassured her and she let out a deep sigh.  
"I know Tony, it's just…" She didn't need to finish her sentence because he already knew what she wanted to say.

Learning from the previous events she sat up slowly and gently untangled her hair.  
"When will she be here?" Her voice sounded a little sleepy and raspy from their nap.  
"She said in 30 minutes. Not enough time to go grocery shopping before, but we'll think of a solution." He still sat next to her rubbing lazy circles on her back to reassure her.  
"I look like a mess." Was all Ziva got out and Tony couldn't help but laugh a little at her response.  
"I'm sure Abby won't mind. Besides you still look stunning considering you just slept on a couch all curled up." His words were followed by a bright smile and Ziva couldn't help but blush a little at his compliment.  
"I think I should nevertheless dress up a little." She replied and got up to walk down the hall.

Ziva was still in the bathroom when Tony heard the knock at the door. In one swift move he got up from the couch and shot down the hall to let in Abby.  
"Hey Abs." He barely managed to choke out before she pulled him into a bone-crushing hug.  
Tony gestured wildly to escape her embrace and when Abby recognized it she looked at him flustered.  
"Where is Ziva?" She asked but before he could reply Ziva came up behind him.  
"Hey Abby, it's nice to see you." Ziva smiled shyly and found herself in her embrace only seconds later.  
A few moments later, Abby had let go off Ziva as well, they settled down in the living room and Tony brought them some drinks.

Ziva immediately shuffled on the couch to make some room for Tony beside her and when he did she spoke up again.  
"Abby, we need to tell you something." Her face gave away a certain kind of seriousness which unsettled Abby slightly.  
The usually bouncy goth seemed gone and she looked at her friends concerned.  
"What is it? Are you sick? I mean, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Ziva quickly interrupted her tirade of words and successfully stopped her with a glare in her direction.  
"No Abby. It's nothing like that, don't worry. It's just..." Ziva took a deep breath before continuing and suddenly felt Tony reassuringly squeezing her hand which encouraged her to continue.  
"Abby, I'm…pregnant."

For a few seconds the room was covered in silence before Abby came to live again and jumped up to hug both Tony and Ziva at the same time.  
"That's so awesome Ziva, really. I'm so happy for both of you. I mean" She looked at them observing their expressions "you are the father Tony, right?"  
Tony simply nodded and with that Abby was satisfied.

Ziva however was stuck in a mix of emotions, unsure of how to handle the situation.  
All of this was still new to her and she didn't quite know what to think of it.  
Tony sensed that Ziva needed some time with Abby to talk about everything and decided on giving them some privacy.  
"Uhm, I think I will quickly go to the store down the street to grab some dinner for us, how does that sound?" Ziva smiled at him appreciatively before replying "That sounds great, thank you."  
He knew that the thank you wasn't for his offer solely and he smiled at her as well.  
"Anything specific the ladies would like to eat?" Tony now shot the both of them his infamous grin.  
"I will go with everything that comes to your mind." Abby replied and Ziva simply added "Some fruits would be nice." She blushed a little and Tony simply smiled a little wider before grabbing his phone and purse from the table to leave.  
"Alright, I think I'll be back in half an hour." He said in with that he was out of the door.  
Abby took the shut of the door as a sign and immediately turned towards Ziva and shuffled a little closer.  
"Now Ziva, tell me everything."


	22. Wordless

**So this chapter is a little more quiet, but not less eventful. I actually think it's pretty important since it will give you an insight on their thoughts and emotions.  
It's also about where they're standing in their relationship and I was really touched by this chapter, even though I was the one writing it.  
I simply think that actions and small gestures say so much more than words, and that's what I focused on!  
Your responses are overwhelming and I think you're really the best readers!  
Now enjoy this chapter and tell me what you think about it!**

* * *

By the time Abby was gone Ziva was beyond exhausted. It was certainly a wonderful afternoon and evening but her body was still not fully recovered and the pregnancy only added to this.  
Tony and Ziva still sat on the couch and Tony recognized how tired she really was.  
"Hey, I think you should get some sleep, or not?" He spoke softly, almost whispering and tucked a stray streak of hair behind her ear.  
"Yeah, you're probably right." And to prove his point she yawned shortly after replying.  
She stood up in one swift move and went down the hall to get changed for the night, leaving Tony alone to his thoughts.  
Of course he had some time to think about the previous days, but to this point he still couldn't fully comprehend it. And now he was nervous as well.  
He didn't want to admit that he would like to fall asleep next to her, but he also didn't want to push the boundaries.

Once he was changed into a simple sweatpants and shirt Ziva came back from her bedroom, a pillow and a blanket on her arms and a shy smile on her face.  
She hesitated when he came over to take the bedding from her arms, knowing that she couldn't just ask him to come to bed with her.  
For a brief moment silence fell between them before Tony nodded at her to thank her.  
He was about to tell her goodnight, but was suddenly overcome with the need to hug her.  
Ziva found herself in his warm embrace only seconds later and captured the moment for later on.  
"Good night Ziva." He softly said and planted a gently kiss on her forehead before walking towards his makeshift bed on the couch.

Ziva on the other hand hesitantly walked towards her bedroom and quickly slipped under the covers, willing sleep to take over her body, but whatever she tried she only ended up laying on her back wide awake.  
Staring up the ceiling she became more and more frustrated and scolded herself 'You didn't need him before to fall asleep' She quietly mumbled to herself, not wanting to give in to her desire to have him sleeping next to her.  
She never depended on someone else; at least that's what her father had taught her and she couldn't quite understand what changed this fact.  
But maybe it was because of the circumstances; maybe she was afraid of being alone.  
It gave her a feeling of being helpless and now that she was expecting a baby, their baby, it got even worse.  
After a few more moments of tossing and turning she finally gave up and walked back to the living room where she expected Tony to be asleep.

However when she stood in the doorframe she saw him mirroring her earlier position as he was lying on his back, facing the ceiling as well.  
She didn't say a single word when she walked towards the couch and looked down at him.  
Her eyes simply gave away a pleading look before she took his hand in hers and pulled him off the couch.  
He immediately understood her and silently followed her down the hall, not even caring that he left his own blanket behind.

He knew her well enough to understand that she would only ask for company when she felt really bad and he was more than willing to join her in bed if it would make her feel safer.  
She nimbly slipped under the still warm covers again and Tony quickly followed her lead and came to rest beside her.  
Ziva however had other plans and simply pulled him closer while rolling onto her side so Tony's arm could come to rest across her waist and she could intertwine their fingers in front of her stomach.  
Finally settled down again she let out a deep sigh and with that her breathing soon evened out again and Tony felt her relax in his arms even further.

The only words that fell that night came from Tony when he said "I'm always here Ziva, and I hope you know that." And he thought she was already asleep but was proven wrong when he felt her squeezing his hand gently as a silent acknowledgement and with that he finally settled down and soon was out for the night as well.

His night was interrupted when he felt Ziva slightly shivering against his back and he instantly knew that she must have a nightmare.  
He carefully bent over to see her face and saw silent tears streaming down her face, feeling immediately sad for not being able to keep at least this pain away from her.  
Carefully wiping away her tears he started whispering to her.  
"Shh, shh, shh, hey Zi, it's ok. You're at home and you're not alone. Can you hear me?" He tried to wake her up, gently caressing her arm, hoping she wouldn't start fighting against him.

She slightly opened her eyes to take in her surroundings only to shuffle closer into Tony's embrace, seeking for comfort.  
For now she wasn't able to talk about her nightmare and really there was no reason to, since he already knew what was plaguing her.  
After a while her breathing evened out again and both of them started to relax a little.  
"Do you feel a little better now?" He asked while intertwining their fingers again and squeezing her hand.  
She simply brought out a small 'Mhh' and nodded slightly in reply which was enough for Tony to actually believe her.

Several minutes later Ziva was out like a light again and Tony was glad she was able to fall asleep again, finding safety in his embrace and the few words he had spoken.  
His last thought was that the rest of their night would be rather uneventful because he knew they had a long day ahead and he wanted her to be well rested and prepared for whatever was coming.


	23. Memories

**Despite the lack of reviews I decided to upload this new chapter anyway because I love my loyal too much to make them wait any longer than necessary!  
With that chapter this story is finally 20.000+ words long and this is a milestone - plus this is actually a longer chapter with some heavier subjects and I felt like they deserved some more time to talk about a few things.  
Now enjoy reading (and you know what comes next) please review (pretty please with a cherry on top?!).**

* * *

When Ziva woke up the next morning she found herself still laying in Tony's arms and felt him shifting slightly behind her.  
Once he recognized her being awake as well he pulled her just a little closer to capture the moment and inhaled the scent of her hair.  
They didn't lose a word about their current position, neither of them ever wanting to let go of the other.  
It seemed just too perfect to be real.

Tony however felt Ziva suddenly tensing up and jerking out of the bed and quickly running towards the bathroom.  
He immediately knew what was happening and followed her track to support her.  
When he arrived in the bathroom a few tears were already running down her face and she desperately held her stomach in pain while violently throwing up.  
All he could do was to come to rest behind her and repeat his actions from the day before and hoping that it would calm her down.  
He continuously rubbed her back in slow circles and supported her small frame with his other hand.  
The nausea stopped several painful minutes later and Ziva simply sunk back against Tony's chest while wiping away the last tears.

"Over?" Tony simply asked and saw her nodding before slowly getting up again and going over to the sink to brush her teeth.  
He came up next to her and mirrored her actions taking his own toothbrush and he couldn't help but watching the two of them standing next to each other in the mirror.  
If any outsider would see them like this they could easily believe they were a normal couple and this thought made him shiver slightly.  
It was so easy to play pretend and yet he finally wanted to discuss things, but this would have to wait.  
Ziva noticed his shivering and looked up at him. She quickly rinsed her mouth before asking "Are you ok?"  
His mouth was still full of toothpaste but he nevertheless tried to reply. "Yeah, just not fully awake yet I guess." He shot her a large smile and even though she barely understood him she had to smile at the sight in front of her.

His hair was sticking up in every possible direction and the toothpaste was all over his mouth by now and yet he managed to smile his thousand watt smile.  
"You look like a porcu-pig again Tony." She giggled, getting the idiom wrong on purpose to see if he would correct her.  
Tony quickly rinsed his mouth as well and joined her teasing. "Now who is teasing now?" His eyes were sparkling at their bantering. He was glad they still had some carefree moments and hoped he would always be able to make her smile like that.

"Did you know your smile is addicting Ziva?" He almost whispered, still smiling, before even realizing what he had just admitted.  
Hoping he hadn't pushed the boundaries he bit his lower lip and waited for her to respond.  
She had slightly blushed at his statement and was now looking down a little, the smile still evident on her face.  
"I guess I could the same about yours." Her voice was just as low as his as she said the words and he was glad she didn't push him away again.  
"Now how about some breakfast?" Tony asked to avoid the awkwardness between them.  
- - - -

About 15 minutes later they were both sitting at Ziva's table, eating the breakfast Tony had quickly prepared for them.  
He had found some leftover fruits for Ziva and decided on simply going with cereals as an add on.  
They mostly ate in silence until Tony spoke up, trying to approach the next subject careful.  
"Ziva? I spoke with Gibbs yesterday while you were asleep." She looked up at him sensing something must be wrong.  
"What is wrong Tony? Spit it out." She visibly tensed up in front of him and Tony decided on shift this conversation to the couch.

Once they were both settled down next to each other Tony began speaking again.  
"Gibbs told me about their current investigation and said they aren't sure what will happen once Mossad finds out what happened. He's worried that they'll come after you again." He swallowed hard and looked at her intently.  
"That's why he told me that I'm on protection detail until they can be sure that you're safe again."  
She was about to jump up but Tony held her back grabbing her wrist.  
"I don't need a babysitter Tony. I can take care of myself." She was furious and Tony knew she would be.

"I know that Ziva. And so does Gibbs. But please understand that he doesn't want to risk anything and so don't want I. I don't want to lose you again." Now it was her turn to swallow hard and take in his confession.  
She finally relaxed again and Tony loosened the grip on her wrist.  
"Ok." Was her simple reply and that's all he needed to hear.  
"Have you already thought about when you want to make your statement?" He know asked in a softer voice.  
"Not really. I know it has to be done, but I'm not quite ready yet." Ziva fidgeted with her fingers to distract herself from the nervousness.  
"Hey, nobody is pushing you. I understand this must be hard after all this bastard has done to you."

What Tony witnessed next wasn't anything he had expected.  
Ziva was crying again, but she didn't look sad or broken. She looked angry, upset and maybe a little confused.  
"He was my friend Tony!" She was almost screaming, her breath became hitched and the tears would stream down her face relentlessly.  
"We were playing in the fields behind our homes. I trusted him!" By now she had jumped up and stood in front of him with a furious look in her eyes.  
"He was my friend Tony. I trusted him." And that was the turning point, she finally broke down sobbing and Tony got up just in time to catch her.  
She has been betrayed once again. And now the pain of this realization rushed through her still fragile body at full tilt.

And this time he didn't try to tell her it was ok, because it was not.  
"Sometimes people simply chose the wrong path and it's just not fair." He pulled her a little tighter and ran his fingers through her hair, giving her the time she needed to heal.  
"Will it ever get better?" She brought out between her abating sobs while looking up at him with red rimmed eyes.  
"It will get better in time Ziva, trust me. But you have to give yourself the time to heal. Do you promise me to not shut down on me?" He asked while gently tucking all the stray strands of hair behind her ear again.  
She looked lost in thoughts for a moment before finally replying.  
"Yes, I think I can do that." Silence filled the room for several seconds after her promise.

"Thank you Tony, for everything."  
"You don't have to thank me all the time Ziva. I'm just glad that you're here with me and safe and that I get the chance to be here for you." She slightly smiled up at him and all he could do was to return it before pulling her into a brief hug once more.  
There was a long way ahead of them, but he nevertheless thought that he could get used to this.  
And so could she, but of course neither of them had the courage to admit that.  
But maybe they had already made the first steps towards each other without even realizing it.  
Maybe.

* * *

**So this was a pretty emotional chapter right?  
But I also love seeing Ziva smile and think their bantering is essential for their relationship.  
Don't you think so?**


	24. Magazines

**Funnily enough this chapter wasn't meant to be in the first place, since I was incredibly lazy tonight. But it turned out to be a longer chapter than expected, I have no idea how this could happen.  
Also, this story has finally over 100 reviews and all I can do is saying 'Thank you', really!  
Now this is a little lighter chapter and I hope it makes you smile even though it's an important situation.  
Enjoy reading & please review (:**

* * *

The following days they developed kind of a routine which actually helped Ziva to get back on track again.  
When Friday arrived it was time to go back to the hospital for the physical check-up and another meeting with Emily.  
Ziva was actually a little nervous and it took Tony a lot to stay calm while she paced through the apartment throughout the entire morning.

"Hey, it's going to be just fine Ziva. Everything is going to be ok." He reassured her and she simply nodded before walking into the kitchen and getting herself a cold glass of water.  
Tony glanced at the clock in the living room and realized it was time to leave if they wanted to arrive in time.  
"Ziva? I think we should get going." He called while grabbing the keys and his purse.  
She quickly walked into the hall and grabbed a light cardigan as it was still a little chilly outside when the sun wasn't shining.  
"Ready?" Tony looked at her with a reassuring smile which she returned.  
"Yeah, ready." And with that they were off to the hospital.  
- - - -

They arrived at the hospital around 20 minutes later and luckily Tony immediately found a parking spot.  
Ziva tensed up even more once they exited the car and Tony instinctively reached his hand out for her to intertwine their fingers.  
She gladly accepted the small gesture not thinking about the meaning behind it.  
Holding onto his hand for dear life they started walking towards the building.  
The nurse told Ziva to go straight to the doctor's office and showed Tony the waiting area.  
He was sure Ziva needed some privacy and settled down in one of the chairs and grabbed a magazine from the table beside him.

Ziva on the other hand hesitantly entered the office where the doctor was already waiting for her.  
"Hello Ziva, nice to see you. I hope you're doing a little better than the last time we met." The doctor smiled at her.  
"Yes, thank you. The others made sure I rested enough." She smiled a little while taking a seat.  
"Well, I'm glad to hear that, because that's what you're supposed to do. Now, let's talk about your current state. I know Dr. Cooper is your ob/gyn but I will nevertheless ask you the following." She looked up at Ziva and saw her shifting uncomfortably in the chair in front of her but nevertheless continued empathically.

"Have you experienced any cramps or noticed bleedings in the past days?"  
Ziva vehemently shook her head. "No, nothing. I struggle with morning sickness, but besides that I think I'm doing fine."  
The doctor made some notes before looking up again.  
"That's great Ziva, really. It means that the baby should still be doing just fine. Now, how about we take a look at your scars. I want to check if they're healing properly."  
Again Ziva simply nodded before walking over to the examination area and exposing the areas where the scars were.

When the doctor lightly touched the scars on her back and on her stomach Ziva flinched slightly and closed her eyes in an instant.  
"Sorry Ziva, I didn't mean to startle you." She continued examining the other scars and took a look at the few stitches she had.  
"But I can reassure you your scars are just healing fine. They will barely visible anymore once they're fully healed. I will prescribe you a balm to reduce the scar tissue, ok?" She said and walked over to her desk to give Ziva the time to get dressed again.  
Once Ziva was finished she walked over to the desk as well.  
"Alright, if you don't have any more questions I would say we're finished here. If anything is wrong you can simply call me, alright?" She shot her another bright smile.  
"Yes, thank you." Ziva shook her hand and with that she was gone.

She quickly made her way towards the waiting area where Tony was still reading his magazine. Or at least it seemed like he did read it.  
"Hey." She came to sit next to him and smiled shyly.  
"Hey. How did it go? What did the doctor say?" Tony asked genuinely interested.  
"She said I'm healing just fine and prescribed me a balm for the scars." Ziva was a little overwhelmed because of the entire situation. First the doctor had told her the scars were most likely not permanent and now Tony cared for her.  
"That's great, isn't it?" He reassured her and showed how truly happy he was for her.  
"Yes, I guess it is. I have to be at Emily's office in a few minutes. Do you mind waiting a little longer?"  
Suddenly she seemed to be a little insecure again.

"Nah, I will be fine, don't worry. Plus I haven't finished this magazine yet." He grinned.  
"I never thought you would be a 'magazine in a waiting room reader'." Ziva slightly teased him and he couldn't help but laugh at her comment.  
"Well, I'll take what I get. And hey, weren't you the one to read a men's magazine at the plane?" He retorted and she giggled at the memory of their first meeting.  
"And I bet you still think about page 57 Tony." Now she was definitely teasing him and once again he got lost in her beautiful smile.

"Alright, I think you should really get going before Emily starts worrying where you are." Tony almost scooped her out of the waiting room and the last thing he heard was Ziva's unmistakably laugh before she shouted "Nice try Tony, but I see what you did here."  
Tony chuckled at her last comment knowing she has always been able to read his mind and he was glad that some things never changed, no matter what life threw at them.


	25. Diner

**I've had a busy weekend and therefore I didn't have any time to write and tonight I had a really bad headache but decided on writing anyway and I hope this chapter turns out to be ok!  
There's not much to say (except for thank you for the reviews again!), therefor enjoy reading and please review (:**

* * *

Another hour passed before Ziva appeared in the waiting room again, smiling slightly even though sadness crossed her eyes for a mere second.  
It must've been an exhausting session and he simply greeted her with a smile.  
"Ready to go?" He asked and she shuffled a little with her feet before replying.  
"Yes."  
When they left the hospital Ziva took a deep breath, welcoming the fresh air and the sun that was finally coming out a little.  
"Hey, how about we go out for lunch? We can go wherever you would like to." Ziva thought about his suggestion and it sounded way too inviting to say no to it.  
"Sounds good. How about the diner near my apartment?" She wanted to keep it simple and knew Tony actually liked the diner.  
"Deal. And I drive." And with that he was off to the driver's side of her car, not giving her the opportunity to argue with him.

Once settled in the car she looked at him and shot him a mock glare.  
Tony lifted his arms in surrender and retorted her look.  
"What?" He asked playfully and Ziva tried to keep a straight face at Tony's expression.  
"Really Tony? After all those years you still don't trust my abilities to drive?"  
A look of horror crossed his face before his lips broke into a wide grin.  
"Considering the entries you collected at work? Yes."  
They both remembered the day Ziva begged him to write that the latest accident was his fault, telling him she would do anything for him and it both made them laugh now.  
"I would be one entry down if you would've told Gibbs it was your fault back then." She teased him and he couldn't help but think back to his reaction.  
"I told him it was my fault to let you drive, yes. And your offer was rather appealing Zee-vaah." Tony retorted and she blushed slightly, the self-confidence from the past seemingly gone.

Luckily they had just arrived outside the diner and both exited the car and quickly crossed the street.  
They silently picked their lunch and ordered it and once the waitress was gone Ziva spoke up again.  
"So, uhm, I thought I would like to go to NCIS tomorrow to finally make my statement." She simply looked at him without saying anymore.  
Tony hadn't quite expected her to be ready so early but welcomed it because it would mean they could close this chapter sooner.  
"I take it you talked to Emily about it?" It was only him guessing, but why else would Ziva change her mind that fast?  
"Yeah, we talked quite a lot today, and…I want to move on and focus on other things instead."  
There it was a again, that small twist in his stomach telling him he was still a little jealous that she didn't talk to him, even though he was glad she did talk to someone.

"That's great, really. I can drive you to headquarters tomorrow and run some errands while you're there." He took it as his chance to get some items to surprise Ziva and her plan came in handy.  
"I'm capable of driving by myself, but I think it's ok if you need to get something done anyway."  
Of course she was curious but knew asking him would lead her nowhere.  
Their meals arrived only moments later and as they began eating Ziva suddenly looked up again looking thoughtful.

"You know what Tony?" Now she had his full attention as his head shot up to look into her eyes.  
"What?" He asked curiously.  
"I would like to have some pineapple to put on my burger." She smiled shyly and her cheeks blushed slightly as she looked down to her burger with tomatoes and roasted mozzarella.  
"Really Zi? Do you think…" Tony started but stopped mid-sentence realizing it wouldn't make any sense to discuss this and instead ordered the waitress to their table again.  
"Is everything ok sir?" She asked and Tony nodded friendly.  
"Yes, but could we have some pineapple for the lady here?" He pointed at Ziva who was still looking slightly embarrassed and the waitress couldn't help but look a little deranged but decided on simply nodding before hurrying away quickly.

"I think you scared her a little." Tony laughed at the young waitress and Ziva laughed along since it was really a little comical.  
"Well, one day she'll probably understand." Ziva stated and absentminded rubbed her stomach which didn't go unnoticed by Tony of course.  
It only showed how much she was already affected by her pregnancy and the loving gesture, even though she wasn't quite showing off yet, made him tear up a little.  
She was already protective over the baby and that's what would make her a great mother even though she couldn't quite see it in herself at the moment.

The waitress returned with the requested fruit and quickly turned around again to prevent witnessing what would follow next.  
Ziva simply put the pineapple on her burger and began eating again.  
"Hmm." She hummed in approval and Tony simply smiled a little at the sight in front of him.  
He could only hope that it wouldn't become one of her favourite combinations of food, because getting it wouldn't be as simple as getting fruit salad.  
About the pineapple in general he wasn't so sure, and he guessed she would combine it with everything from now on.  
But he thought he could deal with that and seeing Ziva happy was enough pay-off for him.

"I'm glad you like it. And I have to admit that the waitress was quite entertaining." Tony joked and Ziva smirked at him.  
"Oh and talking about entertainment…how about a movie night later on?" He asked her, a hopeful look in his eyes.  
"Why not." Ziva brought out between her bites and Tony became excited.  
They would finally have a movie night again and it would bring a bit more normality back into their lives.  
And that was all they needed at the moment.

* * *

**Fun fact: There was a time where I was actually craving pineapples like there was no tomorrow (without being pregnant) and I would put it on everything possible and everything sounded appealing as long as pineapples would be on it. Even the pizza delivery probably thought I was crazy for ordering pizza with only pineapple on it several weeks in a row^^  
On another note: Anyone wondering what Tony is up to? ;)**


	26. Surprises

**I'm rather excited about this chapter, like seriously I'm almost jumping up and down because it was such a joy to write it! Special thanks to my best friends since she helped me picking out some things, she's seriously the most awesome supporter of this story!  
I had to split this chapter since the original plan would have been twice as long, but don't worry it's nevertheless awesome!  
And now enjoy reading and please review!**

* * *

Their movie night was rather uneventful and a first step back into normality, as far as their lives was normal lately with all the changes going on.  
When Ziva woke up the following morning Tony was already up and prepared breakfast in the kitchen and she was greeted by a steaming cup of tea on the table which she gladly took in her hands before walking over to him.  
She carefully peered over his shoulder to see that he was making pancakes with maple syrup.  
"Good morning my little ninja, did you sleep well?" Tony greeted her with a bright smile and his eyes met her deep brown ones.  
"Actually I did. And I'm hungry." She replied, still holding the eye contact.  
"No morning sickness?" Ziva shook her head in relief that she was at least free of it for today.

Once the pancakes were served they ate in comfortable silence before getting ready to drop Ziva off at NCIS headquarters.  
He could tell she was a little nervous again, but knew she wanted to finally find some more closure.  
Throughout their drive she remained mostly silent and stared out of her window while nervously fidgeting with her fingers, a habit she accustomed herself to lately when she tried to calm down.

When Tony turned off the engine he gently grabbed both of Ziva's hands and made her look at him.  
"Hey, it's going to be alright, ok? Gibbs will be there and you can always stop when it becomes too much. And if anything goes wrong you can simply call me, alright? Otherwise I will come back to pick you up in about an hour." He smiled at her reassuringly and Ziva nodded before unbuckling her seatbelt and getting off the car.  
"Thank you." She told him quietly and now it was his turn to nod before leaving the parking lot of NCIS again.

Now that he had dropped Ziva off he determinately drove through the streets of D.C to his planned destination.  
Around 10 minutes later he arrived in front of the store in question.  
He still couldn't believe that he was about to enter a store for baby supplies and clothing, but he really wanted to surprise Ziva.  
Wandering through the aisles of the store he was quickly overextended and was glad when a woman approached him sensing his helplessness.

"Can I help you sir?" She now smiled at Tony and he really appreciated her attempt to help.  
"Actually yes." He replied smiling sheepishly. "I was looking for…uhhm." This would be a lot more difficult than he thought it would.  
"Let me take a guess. You're looking for some newborn essentials?" The woman smiled knowingly and Tony could only nod, surprised that she was right about it.  
"Don't worry, I see a lot of first time dad's in this store every day and their expression is much like yours right now." She now laughed sympathetically and Tony soon joined her.  
He already liked the lady that must have been in her mid-forties and seemed to have a lot of experience in this field.

"Now, let me show you some of our basics. They're truly lovely and are great for the first months of the baby. Do you already know the gender?"  
"No, not yet." Tony shook his head as he followed the lady through the store.  
"That won't be a problem. We have wonderful clothes in gender-neutral colours as well." She started pointing at some starter sets and Tony got lost in all those fabrics and prints soon.

"Here we have a cute cream-coloured set with little ducks on it. It actually contains a long-sleeved overall, two bodies, a hat, a jacket and a small blanket. It's great if the baby is due in autumn since it has everything to take the baby home from the hospital." She smiled at Tony who looked at the set in absolute awe.  
"It's wonderful. I'll definitely take it." He smiled up at her and when they walked back through the aisles his eyes fell on something else.

It was a small, seemingly soft sheep and when he took a closer look at it he noticed it was a music box with a beautiful and soothing melody and the creamy colour perfectly matched with the newborn essentials he was about to purchase.  
He immediately fell in love with it and decided on buying it as well.

The saleswoman smiled at Tony once more before putting the items in a lovely looking paper bag.  
"I thought that it should be a surprise that's why I gave you one of the gift bags. I hope I'm right with my assumption." Tony now smiled widely and gladly took the bag from her.  
"Actually yes. Thank you so much for your help!" Tony was really grateful that he had help in all of this.  
"My pleasure. And my best wishes for you!" She waved him goodbye.

Tony let out a sigh of relief when the bag was safely stored in the trunk of the car and he could make his way back to NCIS, realizing he had really needed the hour to purchase the items.  
When he arrived at the parking lot again Ziva was already waiting for him and Tony couldn't help but focus on her expression and noticed that she looked exhausted but also a little relieved.

She quickly entered the car and relaxed in her seat before Tony got to greet her.  
"Hey, how did it go?" He asked her gently and she turned to look at him, her eyes momentarily closing.  
"It was alright. They were all nice and careful but it was nevertheless a little difficult." She now let out a sigh similar to the one Tony let only minutes ago.  
"I'm so proud of you Ziva." He now bent over to her and softly kissed the side of her forehead and the combination of his skin against hers and his words made her skin tingle lightly, causing her to smile.

"Now, will you tell me what you were buying?" The curiosity was overtaking her and she looked around the car to find any evidence of his shopping tour.  
"Not yet Ziva, not yet. You'll have to wait until we're back home." Tony winked and she put on a fake pout at which he had to laugh.  
"Oh c'mon Zi, we will be back home soon enough and right now you really remind me of Abby." He snickered and now Ziva was lightly laughing as well.  
"Alright, but don't make me wait any longer."

* * *

**I sadly can't insert links but the newborn set Tony bought was inspired by one Ralph Lauren sells, I just changed it a bit for the story and the sheep was also inspired by one I've seen on the internet.  
There's something else important to the story in general: Right now I'm writing day by day in the story but I know I will have to skip some time and would like to know what exactly you would like to see and what you think of it - I'm open for everything as long as it matches with my master plan ;)**  
**And with that off I am to collect new ideas and save you from further ramblings!**


	27. Chances

**So, this is the chapter most of you might have been waiting for and I think I am as excited as you are.  
A little fluffy throughout all the seriousness of this** **and I think we're finally moving forward!  
Now enjoy reading and please let me know what you think (no seriously, so much is going on right now and it would be really awesome if you would review)!**

* * *

"Ok, you can already go upstairs and sit down in the living room and I will join you in a few minutes, alright?" Tony looked at Ziva when they arrived at her apartment.  
"Is this really necessary Tony?" Ziva sounded impatient which caused Tony to laugh again.  
"Yes Ziva it is. That's why it's called a surprise. And now out of the car and up the stairs." He quickly ushered her out of the car and watched her almost running up the stairs and inside the building.  
When the door fell shut again he opened the trunk and retrieved the bag before following her tracks.

The door to the apartment was left ajar and Tony took one last deep breath before entering the apartment and closing the door behind him.  
In this moment he wasn't sure who was more excited, he or Ziva, but really it didn't matter since this was what he wanted to do, what he needed to do.  
Ziva was already sitting on the couch with her legs crossed and slightly biting her lower lip when Tony approached her.  
Her eyes immediately fell on the bag in his hand and the way it was designed and as everything fell into place Ziva let out a small gasp.  
Tony sat down next to her before speaking up.

"Ziva, while you were at NCIS I stopped by a local baby store. Please don't freak out, it's just something small and I really hope you like it as much as I do." He paused for a brief moment before continuing to gauge her reaction.  
"I just wanted to show you how serious I am about this and that I meant everything I told you in the past days. Now take a look." Now it was his turn to nervously fidget with his fingers while waiting for her reaction.  
The first thing Ziva retrieved from the bag was the set of essentials and she couldn't help but gasp again.  
"Tony, this is beautiful." Tears were already forming in her eyes and she almost choked on the words.

"The saleslady said it's perfect for babies who are due in autumn to take them home from the hospital." He replied insecurely.  
"Home." She let the word fully settle in because the way he had said it deeply touched her.  
"Yeah, home." He replied shyly. "Hey, there's something else in the bag."  
Ziva reached into the back once again, pulling out the small sheep and gently touching it before realizing that it played music as well.  
She was captivated by the melody and looked up at Tony with a small smile.  
"It's so soft, and so beautiful." Ziva was overwhelmed by everything Tony did for her and their baby.

"It is, right? And I read that the baby can already hear when it's around 4 months old and that they love it when their mothers lay those music boxes on their stomachs. It will give them something they already know once they're born." His voice was barely above a whisper by now and he noticed how tears started trickling down her cheeks.  
He pulled her into a gentle hug and wiped away some of her tears.  
"Everything ok Zi?" Tony now whispered into her hair while inhaling her scent.  
"Yeah, it's just so overwhelming." She sniffed and there was a moment of silence between the two of them.

"What are we doing here Tony?" Ziva said in a small voice that made her sound so incredible vulnerable and small.  
At first he was a little confused about her question but he eventually understood what she meant.  
"We're going to have a baby Ziva." It sounded like pointing out the obvious and yet it felt like realization finally hit them.  
It was the first time he ever said it like that and it came out so clear and calm that it almost shocked them.

"What about us?" Silent tears were now streaming down her face and Tony couldn't quite tell what was going on inside of her but he knew she must've feared this moment.  
"You mean a lot to me Ziva. Both of you." He carefully rested a hand on her stomach waiting if she would push him away, but she never made a move.  
"Do you ever regret what happened?" She didn't need to point it out further and when Tony looked at her intently he saw pure fear in her eyes.  
He finally knew what was bothering her all the time and he took another deep breath, carefully contemplating his words.  
"No Ziva. I never regretted it once. I don't think it was a mistake and I don't regret the outcome of this." Now his eyes were watery as well as he was taken aback by his own words and how true they were.

Ziva's head now rested on Tony's shoulder as she thought about his answer.  
"At first I was so…confused. But I don't regret it either. Do you think," she now stuttered slightly "you could give us a chance? I just don't know where we're standing right now and…I want something permanent. I don't want to lose you and I want our baby to have the family I never really had." Ziva had voiced her greatest fears and concerns and Tony was really touched by it, touched by the fact that she trusted him enough to share this with him.

"I would like that Ziva." Was his simply reply and it was all she needed to hear at the moment.  
Tony now gently turned her face towards him and leaned in to kiss her forehead and Ziva willingly leaned into the touch and momentarily closed her eyes to capture the moment.  
When he reluctantly pulled back from her he intertwined their fingers and squeezed her hand lightly to reassure her once more.

They didn't know where this would take them, but now they both knew that they wanted to give their relationship a chance.  
And to be quite honest, they never had a normal relationship, but that's what made them special and they wouldn't want it any other way.

* * *

**A small fact about this chapter: My sisters actually did the music box thingy throughout their pregnancies and trust me it's a truly wonderful thing to do! **


	28. Scars

**At first I didn't plan on writing a new chapter today after watching the Promo and everything, but decided that writing would help me to calm down a little, and oh boy was I right.  
Also: Wth this chapter I hit 25.000+ words & I have no idea where this story went out of control! This wouldn't have been possible without you though!  
And I just realized that when I started this story it took me around 3 hours to finish a chapter (as alway, English isn't my first language) and by now it takes me up to an hour to write everything down, which I'm actually really proud of!  
One more thing: I had this chapter planned out some time ago & I'm more than happy that the time finally arrived to write it down (:  
As usual: Enjoy reading, please review, and sorry for all the rambling I did here!**

* * *

Several days later Team Gibbs was still not quite knowing what was going on with Mossad.  
It had been unusual quiet and that was never a good sign.  
Gibbs kept Tony and Ziva updated though, hoping that maybe Ziva could help them a little plus he wanted to check on Ziva's state as well.  
Of course he knew Tony would keep an eye on her, but Ziva was like a daughter after all and he deeply cared for her.

When he called on Thursday he invented them over for dinner on Saturday, hoping they could finally talk a little more now that Ziva was on her way to get better.  
Ziva on the other hand was glad to spend some time with him again, since being at home all day long wasn't exactly how she liked to spend her time, but Tony was right when he repeatedly told her that it was important for her to rest a little more.

They still had plenty of time left until they had to be at Gibbs, but Ziva decided on taking a long shower and take her time getting ready.  
Showering always relaxed her, even though it would now constantly remind her of what had happened only two weeks ago.

Tony was already getting dressed for their evening and after doing some cleaning in the kitchen he decided on checking on Ziva who was supposedly still in the bedroom.  
He unhurriedly made his way down the hall and noticed that the door was slightly left ajar and took it as a sign to enter the room.

Next thing he saw was Ziva standing next to the bed not fully dressed yet as she was about to take care of her still healing scars.  
It was the first time since they had her back that he saw her scars, the evidence of what she has really been through.  
Ziva had recognized his presence only seconds later and turned around in shock, a look of horror crossing her face.  
At the same time she was paralyzed and Tony couldn't quite proceed what he had just witnessed.  
"Tony." She whispered, still in shock.

He slowly and carefully crossed the room, always looking if she would try to fight him off, but she didn't.  
The moment he arrived in front of her he saw tears streaming down her face, something he would never get used to.  
"Oh hey, it's alright Ziva. You don't need to be ashamed of anything." He pulled her into a tight hug as he noticed that her small frame was trembling by now.  
She willingly leaned into his chest and let the tears fall silently.  
"I…I didn't want you to see me…like this." She whispered into his shirt.  
Tony knew that she always wanted to be strong and tough, but he also knew that she had changed a lot over the years, which he was grateful for.  
"You don't need to hide anything from me Ziva. The scars are a part of you and will fade eventually and they don't make you less strong, ok?" She looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes and gave him a small nod in reply.

"Can I" Tony paused, contemplating his words before speaking up again. "Can I take a look at them?" He softly asked, trusting her she would be honest with him.  
"Yes." She whispered and with that he carefully let go of her.  
When she turned around her back was exposed to him once again and he saw all kind of different scars.  
He shuffled a little closer and began tracing the scars with his fingers, careful to not startle her.  
Every time he traced a new scar she silently began explaining them to him.  
There were scars from a whip, several scars from knives and last but not least scars on her arms from where the electricity was send through her body.  
The hate for what this man had done to her rose anew and it made him sick to his stomach but he quickly let go of it in order to not scare Ziva away.

When he had seen all of her scars he took the balm from the nightstand and slowly began to apply them on her scars.  
At first Ziva slightly stiffened but soon relaxed into his gentle touch, realizing he didn't have any bad intentions.  
He took his time to take care of her marred skin and silently ordered Ziva to sit down on the bed once he was finished with her back.  
When she was seated comfortable he loosely draped a thin blanket around her shoulders before taking care of the scars on her legs and looking up at her every once in a while to see if she was still doing ok.

Recognizing she had closed her eyes he relaxed as well and when he was finished he put the balm aside and shuffled to sit down next to her.  
She immediately noticed his warmth beside her and leaned into his side, her head coming to rest on his shoulder once again.  
They just enjoyed the moment and how close they were to each other and Ziva was grateful to have Tony by her side in more than one way.

"Hey, I think Gibbs will be waiting for us soon. Do you think you're ready to get dressed?" He softly spoke up and smiled as he took in Ziva's relaxed features.  
"You're right. Just give me a minute, ok?" She whispered contently and Tony was willing to give her the time she needed.  
"Alright, I'll be waiting in the living room then." With that he got up and started moving towards the door again, but was interrupted when he heard Ziva's voice again.

"Tony?" He turned around and was greeted by an insecure look on her face.  
"I know Ziva. And there's nothing I wouldn't do for you." She now smiled at him still a little insecure but grateful that they understood each other without words.  
"But now you should really get dressed before Gibbs puts out a BOLO." He smirked and with that he was gone.


	29. Family

**This chapter was a little more difficult to write since Gibbs is, well...Gibbs. I hope you like it anway.  
I had this chapter (well part of it) planned from the beginning & I'm glad to finally work my through all my notes with the ideas I've written down.  
Thank you for the wonderful reviews and now enjoy reading and tell me what you think!**

* * *

As usual the door to Gibbs house was left unlocked, allowing Tony and Ziva easy access when they had finally arrived.  
They slowly made their way towards the living area only to be greeted by silence and the absence of Gibbs which didn't really surprise them though.  
A glance towards the kitchen showed them that dinner was almost finished and they decided on joining Gibbs in the basement where he was supposedly working on something.  
The light was dimmed as usual as they made their way downstairs where Gibbs was sitting with an now empty jar of bourbon in his hand.

Ziva had crossed the basement first and Gibbs immediately enveloped her in a tight hug.  
"Hello Ziver." He softly spoke up before planting a small kiss on the top of her head.  
Tony gave them some time before clearing his throat.  
"Hey boss." Gibbs looked over to where Tony was standing and smirked slightly.  
"Really Tony? We're outside of work." His reply made Ziva smile as well before she walked back to stand next to Tony again.  
"Sorry Gibbs." He shot him a sheepish grin and Gibbs decided on not saying anything about his apology.

"What are you working on?" Ziva asked him as she realized that she couldn't find any new project standing around.  
Now it was Gibbs turn to smirk before he pointed to the far end of the basement.  
"Actually I just finished my latest project. That's why I'm still sitting here." He was now greeted by the puzzled looks of his two agents in front of him.  
"You might want to take a look." He simply said and with that Tony and Ziva were off to see what was under the fabric.

Ziva carefully lifted it off the item in question and gasped when she saw what it concealed.  
It was a beautifully designed crib with small carved elements and she could tell he had put a lot of love in the details.  
"This is absolutely beautiful Gibbs." Ziva replied with a wavering voice before looking up to see Tony's reaction.  
He looked at the crib in awe and was speechless as well.

"You better think so. At least it's for my first grandchild." Gibbs said in a fatherly tone and Ziva quickly crossed the room again to hug him anew.  
"Thank you so much." She whispered so only he could hear it.  
"Always Ziver." Was his simple answer and they both smiled at each other for a brief moment.  
"But…how did you know?" Ziva was confused at how he could've known that she would keep the baby. Now Tony was curious as well and expectantly looking at him.  
"Do you think I don't know my kids?" His question was more rhetorical and both Ziva and Tony nodded in unison which caused Gibbs to laugh lightly.  
"Seems like you two have to tell me a lot. But let us go upstairs first before dinner gets cold." He quickly ushered them upstairs and served their meals before sitting down as well.

- - - - - - - -

They were soon engrossed in small talk because Gibbs wanted to know everything about Ziva's current state.  
"So, how far along are you now?" He was genuinely interested and she was grateful to have a father who truly cared for her.  
"Around 12 weeks by now, at least that's what the doctor told me last time. I will have my next check-up next week." Her smile was small but radiant and both of the men immediately noticed it.  
"Well, then you will start showing off soon. When Shannon was pregnant with Kelly she started showing off around 14 weeks and you two have a similar statue." He softly smiled at her and Ziva felt honored that he had shared such a private thing with her.

"Means we better get you some new clothes." Tony now teased her and earned a light slap on his arm in return.  
"Do you want to indicate that I'm getting fat?" She now said with an incredulous look on her face.  
Tony quickly lifted his arms in mock surrender but couldn't quite hide the smirk on his lips.  
"You better don't mess with a pregnant woman DiNozzo." Gibbs commented dryly and Tony realized that he stood no chance against them.

"That's what I already told him, but he wouldn't listen to me." Ziva pouted slightly which Tony still found adorable, but he would never admit it of course.  
"Alright, alright, you win. And hey, I never said you were getting fat." He now added seriously before affectionately caressing her stomach for a brief moment.

Of course his action didn't go unnoticed by Gibbs and now his interest awoke again and for a moment he had to contemplate if he should ask or not.  
He had always known there was more between his two agents, but he also knew that they tried to play by his rules over the years. Well, at least until a few weeks ago, but to be honest he had seen this coming too.

"Anything you two want to tell me?" They both knew that he would eventually ask them directly and were glad to check off this conversation as well.  
Ziva looked at Tony with a pleading look in her eyes and Tony simply squeezed her hand in reply before speaking up.

"Uhm well, actually yes. Well, you already know that we apparently broke one of your rules." He pointed at Ziva's stomach to clarify his statement.  
"And the moment I found out about our baby I decided on not leaving her, no matter if there are rules against that." He now started to defend Ziva and himself, already expecting to hear Gibbs beginning one of his speeches about the rules.

"You better take care of your family DiNozzo." Gibbs stated and they both stared at him speechless.  
They had expected to hear that he's going to split up the team or something else, but certainly not something about their family.  
"He will Gibbs. I'm sure he will." Ziva silently replied, showing Tony that she had his back in this.  
"Ok." Was all Gibbs said and with that everything was clear and Ziva and Tony let out a sigh of relief.  
They had Gibbs blessing for their small family and no matter how their relationship would turn out to be that's what they would always be.  
A family.

* * *

**Sorry for the cheesy ends lately, I hope you aren't annoyed yet. If yes just tell me, alright?**


	30. Confessions

**This is a small but meaningful chapter for the development of Tony's and Ziva's relationship and I have to admit that I teared up a little while writing it.  
It's another quiet chapter & sometimes we all need this.  
As usual enjoy reading and I love, love, love hearing your thoughts!**

* * *

It soon became routine that Tony would take care of Ziva's scars at the end of a day.  
After their dinner with Gibbs they were both content but also exhausted and reveled in the comfortable silence in the bedroom.  
Ziva was sitting cross-legged in front of Tony, her bare skin exposed to him and her hair loosely falling over one of her shoulders.

She was slightly leaning into his touch as he began massaging the balm onto every single scar covering her back.  
The content sigh she let out every once in a while told Tony she was enjoying this as much as he did.  
Of course the reason why he had to do this wasn't all too nice, but he was glad he could show his support and love through his actions.

When he was finished with her scars he gingerly put away the balm and slightly bent down to kiss her free shoulder blade.  
It was clearly an act of affection which none of them commented. Instead Ziva leant back into his chest, waiting for him to loop his arms around her waist only to cover his hands with hers.  
For the first time in months she felt comfortable and somehow she didn't even felt exposed to Tony even though she was barely dressed at this very moment.

He deeply inhaled the scent of her hair and closed his eyes to revel in the moment without any worries.  
Neither of them quite knew where their relationship would lead them, but right now they knew that what they were doing was the right thing.

For Tony it was still unfamiliar to hold a woman like this without any sexual intentions but he had to admit that he liked the feeling of Ziva resting against his chest as it made him tingle inside.  
However seeing her scars brought up one question over and over again and he thought he might as well ask it, now that she felt safe in his arms.

"Ziva?" He softly spoke up, trying to remain relaxed behind her.  
"Mhh?" She mumbled and was still lost in the moment.  
"Can I…ask you something?" Ziva slightly bent her head to the side to look at Tony, wondering where this came from.  
"Yeah." She nodded and Tony took a deep breath and was glad that she relaxed in his arms once again.

"When you were held captive in this room…did he…" Tony now swallowed hard while Ziva slightly tensed up at first, but soon composed herself before replying.  
"No Tony." She whispered. "He never touched me that way." Now it was her turn to swallow hard and she was glad that he was still holding her protectively.  
For a brief moment Tony seemed absent but he soon snapped out of his thoughts again and turned his attention on Ziva.  
"I'm glad he didn't." He was relieved until he saw Ziva thoughtfully biting on her lower lip.

"What would you have said if he had…touched me _that_ way?" Now Tony knew what she was thinking about and she seemed so small again as she asked him that he couldn't help but hold her a little tighter.  
"I would've hated him for doing this to you. But it wouldn't make you a lesser person Ziva. I would've still loved you the way I do now." He shut his eyes closed. The words came out so easy, without any effort, before he even realized what he had just said.  
A single tear rolled down her cheek but she didn't reply. Instead she grasped one of his hands and brought it up to her lips to kiss it tenderly and without having to say a word Tony understood her.

They remained in their position for a couple more minutes before a small yawn escaped Ziva's lips.  
"I think we should get some sleep sweetcheeks, ok?" He gently moved her around so she was lying down on the bed before coming to rest next to her.  
Without saying anything Ziva instinctively shuffled closer to Tony until her back was resting against his chest again.

Once they were both lying comfortably Ziva intertwined their fingers in front of her stomach before finally closing her eyes for the night.  
"Good night Zi." Tony whispered into her ear.  
"Good night Tony." Ziva replied mumbling and if he hadn't listened closely he would've almost missed her next words.  
"And I love you too."


	31. Plans

**Ok, so this is going to be an important note about important things:  
I think now is the right time to tell you (wow, that sounds dramatic, sorry for this) that I had a sequel planned for this story for the time shortly before and then after the birth but now I feel so comfortable with the current development of the story and I have to think about a few things.  
There are still some things I wanted to write about but with this chapter I think there's a nice closure to this part of the story.  
Right now there are three options:  
1. I continue writing about this stage of their relationship a little longer (not much though).  
2. I make this the last chapter and start a seperate sequel.  
3. I make this the last chapter and continue writing in this story even though it probably wouldn't quite match the plot of the original story.**

**And really, I would appreciate to receive some thoughts on this, since this is really important!  
For now enjoy reading, as much as I enjoyed writing this chapter, and it's a little longer to make up for the shorter one yesterday!**

* * *

Their next appointment with Lauren was on Thursday and went by rather uneventful, much to their liking.  
Lauren took another blood sample and made an ultrasound to check if everything was still ok.  
The baby was now around 2,3 inches long and the sound of the heartbeat made them tear up anew and Tony never let go of Ziva's hand once throughout the entire examination.

"As you can see the fetus already has little arms and legs and you can also see the tiny nose and other features." Lauren pointed at the screen smiling slightly.  
"Such a tiny human being and yet already so perfect." Tony looked at the screen in awe and Ziva only nodded in agreement.

"Everything looks wonderful so far Ziva and now that you're in the 2nd trimester of your pregnancy the risks of any complications is extremely low. From now on you can start eating a little more in order to help the baby growing and to keep you fit and strong." She smiled at Tony, knowing he would keep an eye on her.

"This is also the perfect time to go on vacation once more before you enter the 3rd trimester since most of the troubles should be gone by now and some time off might help to relax a little and enjoy the time alone before the baby is born." Lauren explained while Ziva wiped away the remaining gel on her stomach.  
"We will definitely consider this, thank you Lauren." Tony replied and smiled towards Ziva who was already sitting again.

"Alright, here are the pictures for you and unless anything happens there's no need for another appointment until she's around 6 months into pregnancy." Ziva gladly took the pictures and they both said their goodbyes before leaving the office.

Once sitting in the car again Tony had an idea.  
"Hey Zi, how about we go a little shopping? Lauren said it's a good time to get things done and we should probably use it before you can barely move anymore." Tony smirked even though it was an earnest question.  
Ziva playfully punched him before actually replying.  
"Don't worry Tony, I will always be able to move around perfectly." She sounded confident and Tony couldn't help but giggle about his little ninja.  
"But besides that I would like that." Ziva added and with that they drove off to the baby store.

Much to Tony's delight they went to the store where he had bought the gifts for Ziva and they saleslady greeted him warmly.  
"Oh hello, nice to see you again." She said before turning her attention to Ziva.  
"And you must be the mother to be he talked about. Nice to meet you, I'm Elizabeth." Ziva immediately liked the woman in front of her and was certain that they would have a great help in her.  
"I'm Ziva. And this is Tony, my partner." Ziva replied smiling.

"So I guess you two are here to look for some things for the nursery?" Tony already knew that she seemed to always know what someone needed but Ziva was still surprised.  
"Uhm, actually yes, but we don't quite know what we need yet." Ziva replied, blushing slightly.  
"Oh don't worry my dear. Nobody expects you to know everything. It's your first child after all and I vividly remember the first time I had pick out items for the nursery. Let's take a look at some things, shall we?" And with that they moved through the store and Ziva and Tony smiled at each other as Elizabeth reminded them a little of Ducky.

They were both soon lost in looking at changing tables, dressers and bathtubs and where overwhelmed by the variety of said items.  
"I would like some earth and cream colours for the nursery since I don't like this pink and blue thinking." Ziva spoke up thoughtfully and Tony gently grasped around her waist to pull her into a half hug.  
"That sounds like a great idea. That way we can already chose it now even though we don't know the gender yet. And I'm not a fan of pink and blue either to be honest." He was glad they agreed on something as they continued looking through the store.

Around half an hour later they had found a beautiful set of matching furniture.  
Tony had caught Ziva staring at it for quite a while before he asked her.  
"You like this one, huh?" Ziva nodded absentmindedly.  
"It reminds me of the nursery Tali and I had when we were younger. I loved it." A small, sad smile crossed her face before she turned her head towards Tony.  
"Seems today is your lucky day. I quite like it as well." He softly kissed the side of her forehead before taking a closer look at the furniture.  
It was made of a natural wood and wasn't too dark and looked traditional and warm. It really wasn't that hard to fall in love with it.  
Ziva was more than happy that Tony liked it as well, because she couldn't imagine buying anything else anymore.

"Tony?" Ziva spoke up shyly and Tony looked at her, wondering what was on her mind again.  
"I know we haven't talked about it yet, but…how are we going to manage the living situation once the baby is born?" Ziva shifted her weight from one foot to another and looked down sheepishly.  
"Well, since you have a spare bedroom in your apartment I thought that we could turn it into the nursery, but I guess you've already thought about this too, and…" He now took a deep breath before continuing.  
"And I wondered if I could…move in with you. I mean, I understand if that's too early for you, but…" He didn't get to finish his answer because Ziva interrupted his rambling.  
"That would be wonderful Tony." She said, tears pooling in her eyes.

Maybe she would finally get the family she always wanted. Not only mentally but also physical once they would move in together.  
Tony now pulled her into tight hug again not caring that they were still standing in the middle of the store.

"I think we should call Gibbs and ask for his help with the furniture. I don't think it fits into one of our cars." He now smiled at her and she had admit he was right about it.  
"Maybe he can also help setting it up once we painted the walls and everything." Ziva added thoughtfully.  
"For that part we could also call Abby and McGee, I think they would both like to help as well. Especially Abby." Tony said and Ziva giggled at how true it was. Abby would be excited to be able to help.

"Speaking about McGee…we still need to tell him officially. I don't want him to feel left out." Ziva bit her lower lip.  
She was right, until now they didn't find the time to tell their friend and it really was about time to do so.  
"How about we go out for dinner tomorrow night and invite him?" Tony suggested and she agreed that it was a good idea.  
"Alright, now that this problem was resolved as well we should probably call Gibbs before we are stuck in here forever." Tony laughed and Ziva was now more than excited to start arranging the nursery with the help of their family.

For the first time in a long time she felt free of any sorrow and wished she could hold onto this feeling forever.  
But maybe this was only the beginning of a bright future they had ahead.  
And really, she couldn't wait for it.

* * *

**PS: And yes, I'm crying a little right now, because I grew so attached to this story that I can't deal with this kind of decision at the moment. I hope you guys understand me a little.**


	32. Overwhelmed

**This chapter is for you Jess because tomorrow is monday and I know that mondays can suck. It's also because you're awesome, no debating here!  
Also I intended this to be about the renovation but it turned out to be a Tiva centered chapter (I think no one is sad about that though, right?) and the next chapter will be a little "lighter".  
I love it though since I waited for it for sooooo long and yes I decided on writing a little more about this stage of their relationship - thank you so much for your opinions!  
Now enjoy reading and tell me if I made you tear up a little ;)**

* * *

The following day Tony and Ziva had invited McGee over for dinner and had told him about the baby and their relationship.  
Of course he was a little surprised about Ziva's pregnancy but their relationship didn't surprise him at all and he was really happy for both of his friends.  
He had always hoped that they would come around in time and admit their feelings towards each other and was glad there would be no more creeping around at work.

They also told him about about their plans to paint the nursery this weekend since they didn't want to wait any longer, even though there was plenty of time left.  
McGee had agreed on helping them and Abby had promised to help earlier that day when Ziva had called her to ask if she had any plans for the weekend.  
Gibbs said he would come around on Sunday to help setting up the first items since they were still in his truck to not bother the others when they were renovating the room.  
That night Tony and Ziva had sunken into bed peacefully, grateful to have friends like Abby and McGee. After all their friends were also their family and it made Ziva smile every time anew.  
- - - -

On Saturday Ziva was awake early and silently made her way to the bathroom to allow Tony to sleep a little longer. It was only 7 am after all and Abby and McGee wouldn't come over until 10 am.  
She took her time brushing her teeth and combing her unruly hair, not bothering to put it into a ponytail or anything else.

It was only about 10 minutes later when Tony came up behind her quietly and began gently kneading her shoulders while sleepily smiling at her through the mirror.  
"Hey." He softly spoke up, the sleep ruffled hair making her smile once again.  
"Hey." She replied her voice matching the tone of his.  
"You're awake early." He stated, knowing that she wasn't a person to sleep in late.  
"I thought I would let you sleep a little longer. We have a long day ahead and since I'm not allowed to work too long…" She trailed off slightly, wishing she could help a little more.  
"There's a reason for it though Zi, always remember that. And hey, we will manage it plus we will need someone to provide us with food and drinks and who could do this any better than you?" It sounded so domestic when he said it that it made her tingle inside.

"You're just trying to make me feel better Tony." She replied pouting but was still smiling at him.  
"Did I succeed?" He now smirked, knowing her well enough to know that he did.  
Ziva only playfully shook her head and turned around to look straight into his eyes.  
There was a certain tension between them and Tony immediately tried to ease the situation.

"Hey, how about I quickly brush my teeth and wash my face while you get dressed so we can have breakfast?" He smirked at her. The prospect of food always made him happy and she couldn't help but laugh a little before nodding at him and walking off towards the bedroom.

A few minutes later, Tony was about to rinse his mouth, he heard Ziva calling him from the bedroom.  
He wondered what she wanted from him and began walking to her only to be greeted by her standing in front of the large mirror, looking into it absentmindedly.  
She had her top lifted a little so she could look at her bare stomach and something seemed to grab her attention.

Once she noticed him coming up behind her she looked at him, her eyes a little teary.  
"Do you see that?" She whispered and he was a little confused what she meant.  
When he followed her eyes though he could see what she meant.  
If he wouldn't have known what she meant it would've barely been noticeable.  
A small bulge was visible on her stomach and she tenderly grazed it with her fingers and Tony couldn't help but thinking that it was one of the most wonderful things he had ever witnessed.

"You're starting to show off." He replied in awe while shuffling a little closer to her.  
A single tear made it's way down her cheek and Tony immediately began to worry.  
"Hey, is everything ok?" He know wrapped his arms around her from behind to pull her into a tight hug.  
"It's just…overwhelming. Can you believe that there is a tiny human being growing inside of me?" It was indeed a little miracle and now that you could see it, even though it was barely visible, it seemed to become more real.

His hands simply came to rest on her still bare stomach to feel the little bulge as well and soon her hands cupped his while he tenderly explored her stomach.  
She leaned into his embrace and reveled in the intimate moment while his head came to rest on one of her shoulders to watch them in the mirror.

Neither of them felt like letting go of each other but they knew they eventually had to break apart.  
Their relationship was still new to them and yet she felt absolutely safe around him and even allowed him to touch her, knowing he had no bad intentions.  
"I can't wait to meet him or her." He whispered into her ear after what felt like an eternity.  
"Me neither." She replied just as quietly and a smile grazed her lips.  
The eventually untangled themselves to get ready for their day and tried to relax before their friends would arrive.

Ziva was already excited to start working on the nursery and Tony was happy to see her smiling again.  
Maybe all of this wasn't planned and neither of them had expected their lives to take this turn but they were definitely glad about the outcome and they were slowly getting used to the thought of being parents in a few months.  
And they were sure with their family around they would manage their new situation and knew that they could always could turn to them if they needed help.  
And really, was there anything more they could ask for?

* * *

**PS: With this chapter the story has over 30.000 words and is 52 pages long on Word. This is overwhelming, isn't it?**


	33. Renovation

**So this is a huge and funny and teamy chapter and it was definitely a joy to write it!  
It might be a little wild and messy but I hope you don't mind it too much ;)  
Don't we all like it when the team comes together? Let me know about your thoughts!  
With that I'm out of the way and hope you enjoy this as much as I did!**

* * *

McGee and Abby arrived at exactly 10 am and Abby was, of course, greeting them with a big, excited hug and wouldn't stop bouncing up and down in front of them.  
"Calm down Abby, you need your energy to paint the walls." Ziva giggled at the sight of your friend.  
"Oh, I'm just so excited. I mean you don't get to renovate a nursery every day and I have so, so many ideas and" She was about to ramble endlessly and they were glad when McGee interrupted her.  
"Abs, calm down. Ziva is right, we need your energy elsewhere." He laughed and she reluctantly agreed and started walking down the hall towards the spare bedroom.  
Tony and Ziva had already managed to clean the room and remove the furniture to make it easier to get started.

"Ziva?" Abby shouted down the hall, waiting for her to join her.  
"Yes?" Ziva now came to stand beside her friend and looked at her questioningly.  
"Did you two already chose a colour and a border or some wall stickers?" The expectant look in her eyes made Ziva wonder if she was even more excited about this than her and Tony, but it was Abby after all and she was excited about almost everything.  
"Actually yes. The stuff is still in the living room." Tony spoke up behind her and Abby quickly spun around and marched off to get the items.  
"Oh dear, what have we done?" Ziva sighed playfully once Abby was out of earshot and Tony couldn't help but grin at her statement.  
Yes, sometimes Abby was like a little child right before Christmas, but that's what they grew to love about her.

As soon as they had everything set up they started working while talking about this and that and bantering each other.  
Ziva soon found herself into the middle of a paint fight with Tony who wouldn't stop attacking her with his paint roller and she started painting his face and arms with her paint brush she used to paint the corners of the room.

At first she tried to keep a straight face but soon erupted into laughter when he started a tickle war.  
The sound of her carefree laughs went straight into his heart and made him happier than anything else.  
He hadn't heard that sound for a long time and so hadn't their friends and Tony almost tore up, hoping there would be more moments like this in the future.

She playfully scolded him for wasting the paint even though she knew that they had bought enough to paint almost two rooms.  
"I really like the colour Ziva." Abby smiled at her friend while taking in the first finished wall.  
They had decided on a warm cream tone that would match with the darker furniture which also meant they wouldn't have to repaint it too soon.

While the others finished working on the other walls Ziva went into the kitchen to prepare Sandwiches for lunch time and set everything up in the living room.  
She slowly made her way back to the nursery and arrived just in time to see McGee painting the last corner of the wall.

"Aaaand done." Abby exclaimed happily and the two men only grinned at her in response.  
"I see you were hard-working and I think you definitely deserve your lunch." Ziva laughed and now all eyes were on her.  
"Lunch, yay!" Tony and Abby cheered at the same time and race down the hall leaving McGee and Ziva behind.

They only shook their heads at their sometimes childish friends and followed them to join them in the living room.  
"Now we only have the border left to add and then we're done with the basics." Abby spoke up in a business like tone.  
The border they had picked was simple and yet beautiful. It was softly coloured and had smiling jungle animals on it in muted brown, yellow and red colours.  
They had decided that they couldn't go wrong with animals since both boys and girls loved them.

A glance at the clock told them they were quicker than expected and Tony decided on calling Gibbs to tell him that he could already come over today to set up the furniture and he was glad when he agreed on their plan.

Abby, McGee and Tony quickly went back to work after their lunch break to get everything done before Gibbs would show up.  
Tony had forced Ziva to sit down and relax but she had decided to clean the kitchen first.  
When they had finished applying the border to the wall they called Ziva back in again.

She came to stand in the door frame and looked at the result and they could tell that Ziva really liked it so far.  
"It's wonderful. Thank you guys!" Tony smiled at her and took one of her hands to slightly squeeze it.  
"Wait until Gibbs and I have set up the furniture." He quietly told her with a sparkle in his eyes.  
He was right, but even though it wasn't even finished yet she already fell in love with the room.

McGee and Abby had just left when another knock was heard on the door. Tony jumped off the couch to let Gibbs in but instead he was ordered to help him carrying everything inside the apartment and he gladly obliged.  
The nursery was soon filled with different pieces of wood and Tony sensed that they had quite a lot of work ahead but with Gibbs help they would do just fine.  
Ziva soon joined the two of them and offered them a beer while she sat down in the door frame with a cup of tea for herself to help them when needed.  
She however sensed that it meant a lot to Tony to do this on his own, or more with Gibbs help and let them work on the furniture, silently following every step they made.

Several hours went by and the sun was already setting when they were finally done with the last item of the set.  
Ziva helped them arrange everything until she was content with the result and took a step back to look at the result.

"It's beautiful." She whispered in awe and Gibbs walked up to her and pulled her into a gentle hug.  
"I'm glad you like it Ziver." He replied and was more than happy to see her so peaceful and content.  
The handmade crib from Gibbs was the perfect addition to the nursery and completed the view in front of them.

"It's already late and I know you need to take it easy so I will give you two some time alone." Ziva nodded in agreement as she felt the exhaustion take over.  
It had been a long day after all and her body was still recovering even though she tried to avoid thinking about it on a daily base.

After saying their goodbyes Tony and Ziva sank down on the couch and relived their day for a moment.  
"I'm glad we can cross this off our list." Ziva let out a deep sigh and her head came to rest on his shoulder.  
"Yeah, me too. Now we can concentrate on everything else." He added and knew it was good that they now had time for other things.  
And really, there was still a lot to plan and manage, but it was a good kind of work and he was sure Ziva thought the same way.

* * *

**Oh and something else: I usually post some pictures concerning the story on my blog so if you're not on tumblr you can always message me and I'll send you the link!**


	34. Downtime

**Since I'm leaving for the weekend I won't be able to update my stories until I come home again.  
I wanted to leave you a longer chapter, but it turned out to be as long as the others.  
However I think it will leave you with a smile and I think that's what counts (:  
It also means you have plenty of time to review!  
With that I'm off and hope you enjoy reading & have a great weekend!**

* * *

Their Sunday was spent rather uneventful since they had managed to get everything set up yesterday with the help of their friends.  
Ziva had decided on taking a bath and Tony used the time to get through with his latest plans.  
He quickly got his laptop and started it, impatiently waiting until he could start researching.

While he did so he grabbed his phone and called Gibbs, hoping he would answer his phone.  
"Yeah, Gibbs." Came his typical reply and Tony took a deep breath before speaking up.  
"Uhm, hey boss. There's something I want to ask you." His voice gave away how nervous he really was but Gibbs would, as usual, have none of it.  
"Spit it out DiNozzo." Sometimes Tony just needed a mental headsleap to start talking to him.  
"Well, I know that we should eventually come back to work, but I wondered if it was ok if we stay away from work for another week. I would like to surprise Ziva and think she could need some more time off." For a moment it was silent between them and Tony gulped as if expecting the worst.  
"Alright, go ahead with your plans. But take care of her; it's still not 100% safe." He now stated and with that everything necessary was said and Tony let out a sigh of relief.  
"Thanks boss, and I will take care of her, don't worry." With that they both hung up and he frantically began his researches.

He soon found what he was looking for and dialed an unfamiliar number waiting for someone to answer  
his call.  
Satisfied that the call ended with the result he had hoped for he closed his laptop again and sat down on the couch, waiting for Ziva to finish her bath.

It wasn't until around 30 minutes later when Ziva finally entered the living area again, dressed in a sweatpants and simple shirt, her hair still damp and unruly falling down her shoulders.  
The bath had seemingly relaxed her since a small smile was playing on her lips when she sat down next to him.  
He couldn't help but retort her smile before he turned slightly to face her.  
"I take it you enjoyed the bath?" Tony loved seeing her that content and would probably never get tired of this sight.  
"Yes, it was wonderful and it's sad that I don't do it more often." She replied thoughtfully.  
"I've read that it can ease some of the back pain throughout your pregnancy, so I should probably make sure that you take a nice long bath more often." He now grinned at her and she was surprised every time anew about how much he truly cared for her.

"Hey, I thought about what Lauren has told us at your last appointment and I just made some phone calls." He started but was cut off by Ziva who now questioningly looking at him.  
"What are you talking about Tony?" She raised an eyebrow.  
"She said that now would be the perfect time for a vacation and well I researched a little and called Gibbs and he gave us the ok to stay away from home for another week." He now started trailing off, wondering how she would react to the news.

"Tony, does that mean…" What he had just told her definitely took her by surprise.  
"Yeah, I found a nice place we can stay at and I hope you like the idea." His smile was almost sheepish but he guessed that she liked the idea since a large grin spread across her face and tears were pooling in her eyes.  
"That sounds amazing, really, and I would very much like that." She now hugged him tightly and his hands instinctively went around her waist to hold her tight.

After a few moments she looked at him again and spoke up. "Are you going to tell me where we are going?" Sometimes Tony couldn't help but grin at her curiosity and the expectant look in her eyes.  
"Nope, you will have to wait and see Miss David." He laughed lightly, knowing that Ziva was never the type for surprises.  
She immediately pouted at him but decided to let go off it since she wouldn't have to wait too long to find out where he would take her.

"When are we leaving?" She now asked instead.  
"I thought we could leave tomorrow after a relaxed breakfast, what do you think?" He didn't want to hurry anything and thought they could sleep in a little instead of leaving early in the morning.  
"Alright, relaxed breakfast it is." She simply agreed and still smiled at the prospect of spending some more time alone with him.  
"We should probably pack our stuff today though. How about we get started now and order pizza for lunch?" He suggested and Ziva nodded in agreement and started walking towards the bedroom, only to be followed by Tony.

She was already shuffling around her room when Tony cleared his throat.  
"Uhhm, Ziva? I should probably go home to get some things. I think the clothes I have here won't be enough for the week." The realization hit both of them and she shyly looked at him.  
"Yeah, you are probably right. I can order the pizza once I'm finished, ok?" Ziva absentmindedly bit her lower lip which attracted his attention for a brief moment.  
"Sounds like a plan. Alright, I'll be back in an hour." And with that he was gone.

Once the he had closed the door behind him Ziva let out a deep sigh.  
For the first time she was alone in her apartment again and it felt somehow strange.  
Of course she wouldn't admit that she had become accustomed to Tony's presence, but something was nevertheless missing now that he was gone.  
'He will only be gone for an hour' She scolded herself, knowing that it was irrational to already miss him that much.

Instead she tried to focus on her task and continued packing some clothes and other stuff into her bag.  
As she thought about the upcoming week something tingled inside her stomach and she couldn't quite understand where it was coming from but it was a somehow good feeling after all.  
She let her mind wander though and hope that Tony would come back sooner rather than later.  
It seemed like this week would change some things between them and somehow her subconscious seemed to sense it.  
At least she was a ninja after all.

* * *

**Any ideas where Tony will take her? I'm curious what you think ;)**


End file.
